That time that Aunt Flo neglected me for 6 months straight

So this is the closest I've ever gotten (and may ever get) to a TMI post. 

And FYI, there aren't any gross details, so if you're okay with the word period, then you're in the clear. 

Did I lose the scaredy cats and any boys that may be browsing this? Alright, here we go:

January - February

I've never been one to be irregular, so when that time of the month (I'm not even sure if I'll use the word period, it just sounds weird) didn't come around in February, I was a bit weirded out. 

But I had just stopped taking birth control, and started working out a lot more than I did before (typical post-break up behavior, no?), so I figured that might be the case. 

I figured even though I had never skipped an entire month before, there's a first time for everything. 

March

I have now skipped 2 months.

The maybe I'm syncing to my roommates theory goes out the window. 

I legitimately think I may be pregnant with the next baby Jesus. {But really.}

Even though it is not physically possible, I go buy a pregnancy test. 

Freaking the eff out {again, not physically possible people}, I take said pregnancy test. 

Negative.  

{I will say now that through this whole ordeal, I learned that I worry too damn much for my own good. You'll see why soon enough}

April

Still no period. 

Still no baby Jesus pregnancy bump either. 

Time to call the doctor. She tells me she wants to do a blood pregnancy test, just to be sure. 

Cue freaking the eff out all over again. And add in the fact that I hate needles. I can't do shots. Just can't. To reiterate this fact, I will tell you that when my 7 year old sister and I go to get shots at the same time, she has to go first. So I don't freak her out. 

{Another thing that I'll say came out of this ordeal is that I can now say I'm almost pro with needles. Heck yes.}

So, naturally, I bring my friend with me. This girl. And as the nurse is drawing my blood, she turns to me and goes:

Aw, what a good friend you have. She'll be there when you have the baby. 

And my first reaction: I know right?! She is such a great friend. 

It wasn't until I replayed the comment in my head that I realized that the baby she was referring to was the baby Jesus she believed to currently be growing inside of me.

Note to nurse: If there is no father in the room, the young girl taking a pregnancy test is probably not hoping to get back Positive results. Just saying.

Results are negative. Biggest sigh of relief ever. Officially no miraculous babies for me. 

May

Doctor decides to do a hormone test. 

I cry when she tells me this. She thinks I'm crying because of the needles. She seems very confused when I tell her that I am not crying because of the needles, that I'm crying because of the possible results. 

Doctor: "Well, what is the worst case scenario in your mind?"

Me: "Cancer."

Doctor: "Ohhhh."

{Did I not already say that I worry too damn much?}

Apparently cancer was not even an option in her mind. Just in my twisted one. 

Hormones look good. I get to go on a 10 day jump-start-period pill. 

June

It doesn't work. 

I get sent to a specialist. 

She answers all of my irrational questions on if I have cancer and if this means I can't have children. 

She also has me take another blood test.

{Like I said, pro at needles now.}

She decides to put me back on birth control {all circling back now}.

July

I am officially not broken anymore. 

I know you are just as excited about it as I am.