Tuesday, August 21, 2012

I Made a List

So, this lady here is single. Happily single, I will say, but single nonetheless. I am in no rush to settle down, but I do have an idea of what I'm looking for when I do. 

I know what I want, that's great, right? 

Wrong. 

Despite the fact that I know what I want, I almost always go for guys that do not fit into that description. I don't know what it is, but once I decide that I'm attracted to someone's personality, BAM. All my guidelines go out the window. My feelings take over, and I'm hooked. 

I'm not saying that these guys are bad guys, but it's generally pretty clear that they're not right for me. And knowing that usually doesn't make it any easier when things don't work out. 

But praise the Lord they don't!

So. How do I fix this pattern? I'm sure it's not a simple fix, but I had an idea. I made a list, a list of everything that I want in a future boyfriend/husband. And I'm hoping that writing it down will show me that what I'm looking for, will definitely be worth waiting for. 

And I'm blogging the list. So when I come here and go "guys, I got me a boyfreeenn!" I give all of you permission to point me straight to this post and say "K but does he fit the list?"

And if I say no, you talk some sense into this girl. 

Capesh?

Here we go:

1. He will look like this:


...

Kidding. 

But it can't hurt.

Alright, for reals:


1. Loves Christ. Can I get an Amen?

2. Dog person (preferably cat person). I know that might be pushing it a bit.

3. Loves kids. There is nothing more attractive to me than a man who loves kids. And I plan to have me some babies, so this man's gotta be ready. In High School, I swore I wanted 5 kids. 

I maybe still do.

4. Ambitious. I don't need a man who rakes in the big bucks, but I need a man with goals and drive.

5. Appreciates me. This one's big, guys. I have me some quirks. I fall asleep to almost any movie or tv show. I scream (or squeal?) when I have an unexpected bug encounter. I over analyze things like no other. 

I want someone who's going to love every single one of these quirks (and all the others that weren't mentioned) because they make me, me. 

6. Optimistic. You can find negative in any situation, if you look for it. You can also find positive in any situation, if you look for it. I'm not saying I need someone to be rainbows and butterflies all day every day (that's exhausting), but I want someone who's going to find the good in this world, and celebrate it with me. 

7. Gets along with my family. My family can be crazy, exhausting and a lot to handle. But I love them more than anything in this world.

And my man better too. Or fake it :)

8. Sense of humor. I laugh at myself a lot (sometimes, you just have to). I would love to find someone who will laugh at me with me. 

9. Committed to our relationship. When I'm all in, I'm all in. It doesn't matter how long we've been together, if I like you, I like you. That's it. 

I'm not saying that's a good thing, because believe me, there are some relationships that I should have walked away from. 

But when it's the right person, I know I will be happy that I have that commitment ingrained in me. And I want someone who's going to feel the same way about our relationship as I do. 

I feel like I should have a number 10. But I don't. 

So 9 things it is, that's not too much to ask for, right? 

Single ladies, what are you looking for in your men? And my ladies with bfs or hubbies, what are your favorite qualities about your men? 

20 comments:

Amy said...

swoon chace....

http://coffeebeansandbobbypins.blogspot.com/

Mosby Hardin said...

I am thinking I need to just copy and paste this list! Everything is pretty much exactly the same for me!

Erin said...

This is an awesome list girl (and the eye candy to start it off didn't hurt!) ;) You will definitely find someone with all these qualities-- you'll know when it's right :)

I dated some losers before I found my now-husband. It was SO OBVIOUS once we started dating that he was the guy for me. He had all the things my other relationships had been missing and seriously, it was like my eyes were opened sooo so much!

Evelien said...

I think my list had 18 points hahaha! My hubs has almost every one of them, but the ones he doesn't have were written down when I was 16 years old so its ok ;)
When we started dating, it was immediately different from other relationships! I'm pretty sure you'll meet you're mr. right and feel the same way :)

Bri Buzali said...

This is a really good list! I have that same problem too, always falling for guys who I know aren't right but I think they will change, not good.

Jordan said...

That is a great list! For me, it took being in a few terrible, horrible, not-good-enough relationships to realize exactly what I WAS looking for. (Apparently I'm stubborn and learn everything the hard way) If you can find someone who looks like Zac Efron AND fits the description... jackpot, girl!

Julie said...

That's a great list! And it's definitely not too much to ask for! There's an awesome guy waiting there for you, perfectly planned for you by God.

A few of my favorite things about Matt (my boyfriend) are that he appreciates me for me, is a total family man, and is a mushy romantic :)

Emily grapes said...

I think this list is a pretty good one. The sense of humor and appreciating you are big things..oh and the looking for positive. Its way to easy to see the negative in everything!

Oh and the ambitious one too!! haha, like I said! great list of things to desire in a man. ;)

Thanks for stopping by my blog today!! :)
Emily at Amazing Grapes

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

When I met my boyfriend-now-husband he met every single criteria on my list. And I had quite the list, haha! Something that wasn't really on my list, but that I got anyway was definitely someone to laugh with. When he laughs, it makes me laugh. We are forever cracking each other up and I love it. I think partially that just comes with being together 8 years and having so many inside jokes. But I really just love to laugh with him. It doesn't hurt that he absolutely adores me, is gorgeous, loves Jesus, loves our families (his and mine), is a servant and a leader, volunteers with teens, and is a great communicator. Love him. :D

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

I should clarify... the "great communicator" part is true, but it wasn't always true. That has definitely been a learned skill over the past 8 years. :)

Stesha said...

i love this list. honestly I was known for picking really hot guys that were total losers, I have been off and on with my bf for 7 years and until I got all qualities from him I was not ready to settle. You will know when the time is right :)

xxS

Erin said...

okay i love this list and agree with it all!! :) i know the Lord will bring our dream guys at the right time! love this list :)

Elissa said...


i mean that's not too much to ask! we are alike in many ways including sqreaming about bugs, and overanalyzing everything. A guy who loves christ and me and has a few other qualities is all we are asking for! Another I believe is falling for guys we know we shouldnt. Like you said not bad guys but guys we know aren't for us. I had a couple of silly crushes. It is actually refreshing to be single and not have had a crush for awhile.

Cassandra said...

While I LOVE that first list haha... That second one is great! Its so good to know the general outlines of what we want. The deal breakers.

Meg {henninglove} said...

love Christ definitely AMEN on that for sure!! number one factor for me and i love you made a list. i made a list too and didn't settle if he was missing those major things that were on my list and God answered! He wants the best for you in a husband

Sammantha said...

Seriously that one show on Bravo called like... uhm... OH miss-advised, the girl had 73 things on her list, I think 9 is fine! Seriously girlfriend, you are totally fine and that list is PERFECT!

You're gonna find a man with all that and more :)

LOVE YA!
www.dysfunctionaleverafter.com

Linnea said...

I LOVE your list and am holding you to it!! I laugh at myself a lot too.

I love that my husband is so kind hearted. More so than me, it has made me be a better person.

I love that he loves me for me, no matter how silly or crazy I am.

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Summer said...

This was a fun post. I can't imagine how difficult it is at times to be single these days. The list looks great!!

You definately identified the most important qualities. I hope you meet this guy. . . I really do. I will speak from experience--he is worth the wait. Completely worth it.

Thank you for visiting and commenting on my blog today. Much appreciated!

Chessa said...

I love this list! We sound like we have a lot in common. One thin I love about my boyfriend is he makes me laugh!