Wednesday, January 2, 2013

Keeping it real in 2013

Beyond crossing things off of my Bucket List, I want to go deeper in 2013.

Go deeper in my faith, in my blogging.

I want to learn, and to grow. And sometimes growth is uncomfortable.

I want to be honest going into this new year. It hasn't exactly gone as I'd hoped. I feel extremely distant from God right now, due to some of my own personal choices.

And it has nothing to do with NYE celebrations, those were actually quite mellow this year. It just has to do with making decisions that don't line up with how I know God would want me living my life.

And it's funny, a year ago, I never would have noticed these things.

But now I do. Now, I can't ignore the fact when I do something that doesn't align with the Bible.

And honestly? It's both a beautiful and rough thing. I love that God is so lovingly and gently showing me that I need Him.

But other times it's just plain hard. I will get so discouraged thinking that if I was a "better" Christian, than I wouldn't struggle with certain areas of sin that I do.

I see so many incredible, Godly, inspiring bloggers, and I can't help but think that they would never struggle with this.

And now, I can at least recognize that these are lies trying to discourage me from seeking God, but it doesn't make the lies any less painful.

So anywho, I never want to seem like I have it all figured out on this blog.

Because I am far, far from that.

And luckily, over the last year I have seen how these moments, where I feel distant from and unworthy of the Lord, they will pass.

God's love is bigger.

But this is where I am today.

Dear brothers and sisters,
when troubles come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy.
For you know that when your faith is tested,
your endurance has a chance to grow.
So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed,
you will be perfect and completed, needing nothing.

James 1:2-4

9 comments:

HK said...

Amy, I do so love it when you blog about your spiritual endeavors. You're very inspiring to me! :-)

L said...

I love how I feel our hearts echoing each other in this post and the one you just so sweetly commented on! =)

You are beautiful friend inside and Out! This post shows your sweet heart! This year I look forward to getting to know you better! =)
Much Love!

Melissa said...

Love your blog, and your heart. I think all bloggers go through stuff, whether they blog about them or not. I love how you blog your spiritual journey & you can bet that other bloggers are stuck in their own sins, and in need of God's grace, too. He loves you & I agree - it is a beautiful thing everything He is showing you! :)

Julie said...

I've been there, girl. ALL Christians have been there. Heck, I'm there right now! I disappoint God on a daily basis. And I'm the same way– a year ago I most definitely wouldn't have noticed my sins. It's funny how God works in our lives like that and tests our faith constantly. Keep your head up, Amy! Your honesty here is so inspiring to me!

If you ever need to/want to talk about anything like this feel free to shoot me an email :)

Elissa said...

Anytime you need or just want to talk I am here. I love this post, because I hate when people sometimes come across as having it altogether because that is a facade. Nobody has it all together, everyone struggles and is fighting their own battles.

Melissa Jo said...

Love that verse! It is a daily reminder of where God's love is - He WANTS us to grow and change continously. He doesn't want to see a stay complacent in our everyday lives. He wants us to be tested so that we can grow closer and more in love with him. TOTALLY crazy right?

Random but, I haven't been getting my comments email to me so I haven't been able to respond to them like I normally do. My sister's is doing the same thing. Have you been getting yours ?

Caitlin said...

I know exactly how you feel sometimes, girl! And, I absolutely LOVE that last verse! Here is to 2013 being great!

I also nominated you for a liebster award! :) http://lettersandlattes.blogspot.com/

Jordan said...

Oh wow, this was very honest and inspiring. I have found that this is a day to day journey for me and some days I feel proud and others I feel guilty. But either way, He loves me and He loves you and I think the fact that you recognize these feelings is better than not at all. You have inspired me so much! Perfect verse. Thank you for sharing. <3

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

It's amazing how when you are allowing God to work in your life, how things that you never would've considered needing to change suddenly prick your conscience. The Holy Spirit moves in our hearts like that. It's definitely hard, but so worth it. Love everything you wrote here. It's obvious how much God is working in your life!