Friday, April 5, 2013

Hello My Name Is...

In January of 2012, I accepted my need for a Savior. I accepted that I needed to surrender my entire life to Christ, and trust that He would make something beautiful of it. 

Little did I realize that in order for Him to make something beautiful of my life, He would first have to do a lot of work with my heart. 

You see, by the world's standard, I would say that I was a pretty good person with a pretty good heart. 

But the more I got to know Christ, the clearer it became to me that seeing things through God's eyes and seeing things through the world's eyes are two very different things. 

According to the world, my heart was just fine. 

But the world couldn't hear my thoughts, or understand the motives behind my actions. The world couldn't see the deep insecurity behind every good deed. The world didn't understand that I was using every accomplishment, every honorable action, and even every friendship as building blocks to create a ladder. A ladder that would keep me far, far away from my fear of failure. 

A sweet friend wrote a beautiful post on fear this week. She wrote that fear is more than just a word. That it's something that can take over your life. And she so boldly confessed that it had taken over her own life. 

This week, I realized that fear has taken over my life, too. 

I have an intense fear of not being enough. A fear of going unnoticed. 

And I mask this fear by searching for recognition. And that quest for recognition has manifested itself into a competitive nature in my heart that sits and stews to birth bitterness and jealousy. 

One not-so-tiny fear of mine has now created a competitive, bitter & jealous side of my heart. One that I didn't want to admit was there, but I felt it all the time. 

And so this week, I decided that I had had enough. So I dug deeper. Why am I afraid of these things? What is the root of this fear? 

I realized that it's not being noticed that's important to me. It's not the accomplishments that I'm searching for. Or the recognition. 

It's love. My fear of not being noticed, or not being good enough stems back to a fear of not being loved. 

And as I realized this, a wave of peace came over me. 

Peace that came from realizing how irrational my fear was.

I am set free of this fear because of the love of Christ. I am set free because His love is unconditional. There is nothing that I can do to reverse it. 

And once I stop searching for love in this world, once I let go of this quest for recognition and validation, I can be free to truly give the selfless kind of love that only comes from Christ. 

Hello, my name is child set free by the love of God. 

It is so nice to meet you!

Hello My Name Is

PS: If you're new around here, feel free to check out this giveaway to win one of these necklaces:

Happy Friday, friends!


Kerry Todd said...

Truly we all are children set free by the love of God. It is so nice to meet you. Thanks so much for linking up with us today.

Hilda said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Madalyn said...

God is so great to all of us all the time. Living in fear is so easy to stumble into but it's the love of Christ that will set us free!

I hope you have a great Friday!

(Also, picked up a new pair or running kicks. They seem to be helping me out. thank goodness! And thank you for all of your help. An sorry if there are any typos. I am on my cellular.)


Julie said...

Yes yes yes yes. We are so free in His love! So glad you kicked fear in the face this week too :) It's all just the evil one getting in our heads, but God's perfect love will drive out all fear. Always. You are so honest, brave, and an inspiration to me. Love you so much!

Abi's Little Wanderings said...

Fear can be crippling, amazing to see the freedom you enjoy in life through Christ!!!

Amy said...

Fear is something that is suffocating, and offers little to no hope.
I'm so thankful that you've found peace....and are resting in the truth that God does love you, and that you are enough. Because Amy, you are enough.

Kerrie Williams said...

Amy I knew I'd love your post because I ALWAYS love when you write about your new life in Christ! You also mentioned a little bit of my new name in being a "seer" through His eyes and not through our own. Such a crazy amazing thing to think of. I love your new name and I love you! And I love that God never leaves us or forsakes us. That He loves us as His children -- unconditionally. Amen & amen!!

courtney {splendid actually} said...

oh dear amy, i love your posts. i love your honesty. and i love your new name :) xo

Kiki said...

Oh, Amy I KNEW this was going to be a good one because I love reading these posts that really speak so much truth in my life and walk with Christ, too! God's love is more than enough for us and thank goodness His love is perfect and drives out all fear. Sending love your way! :)

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

Have you heard "Hello My Name Is..." by Matthew West? I think you'll like it. :) Love you!

Julie Bullington said...

I'm so encouraged by your posts! yes indeed we are set free from fear but it takes such strength to lean on Christ and ignore the lies!

erin m. said...

Loved this, Amy! Thanks for sharing a piece of your story. Your words reminded me of such truth that I know, but too often forget. Blessings friend!

Meghan Gorecki said...

This was so great, Amy--& I could really relate to the fear, & yearning for recognition. Very encouraged--& thank you for your sweet comment!

Janna Renee said...

You are always "enough" if you are striving to be the best version of you!!

Chrissy Boerman said...

So blessed to have you as a sister in Christ. You are enough. And He is more than enough. Blessing to you friend.

Melissa Jo said...

we are only made free in HIS love, it is such an amazing "oh" moment in life.. oh btw, love the "hello my name is song".. daughter of the one true king!

Rachel Leigh Murray said...

It's so amazing to hear a tidbit of your story with Jesus. Praying that journey only deepens and becomes more wonderful over time! God bless you on your new walk! And may He who hasn't given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind, bring you closer to Him each day! Feel free to walk by anytime! Always thrilled to connect with another sister of the Lord!
Be blessed,

Leah said...

Oh man, yes girl. Fear of not being loved enough. That's my biggest fear. Not reaching the right approval, not being seen as one of the best. I lose sight so often that I'm already seen that way by the Lord. He sees me and us with eyes of intense and never ending love. Nothing I do or don't do will make Him love me less. Praise him forever for it!