Love Languages

I feel like everyone and their mother have heard of this by now, but if you haven't, allow me to explain it to you. There are these things called love languages. There are 5 of them, and they're supposed to be the 5 different ways that people can receive love. 

They are:

Words of Affirmation

Physical Touch

Quality Time

Gifts

Acts of Service

Each of us receive love in different ways. Something that makes you feel extra loved may not necessarily make me feel extra loved, and vice versa. Maybe you feel the most loved when somebody surprises you with a gift, or perhaps when someone randomly washes your car, or makes you dinner during a particularly busy week. 

I feel extra loved when someone wants to carve out time in their schedule to spend time with little ol' me. Or when they walk up and give me a big giant hug. Or when they affirm me with their words, especially that one. 

Apparently, I have 3 love languages. I'm gonna look at that optimistically and say it'll make life much easier for my future husband when trying to show me love: bam. 

The point is, we each have very specific ways in which we feel loved. And the way we receive love is usually the way we give it, because you know, we think that's the best one based on our personal experience. 

I often show love by making coffee dates with my friends, and I always greet people with a hug. I do my best to affirm others with my words, because I know how far that goes with me. 

But what happens when the person I am showing love to has a love language of gifts or acts of service? A disconnect forms when I feel like I'm going above and beyond to show my love, but they aren't receiving any of it. 

So clearly, the key to a healthy relationship is communicating about love languages, and clearing up that disconnect by being attentive to the ways you each receive love. 

And clearly, I would know this because you know, I'm in a healthy, thriving relationship, and all.

{ba dum chhh}

I was sitting at church on Sunday, when a serious truth washed over me. I was thinking about this season of singleness, which can often feel like a season of waiting. The truth is, I'm waiting on the Lord & His perfect timing, but sometimes, it feels like I'm just waiting for Mr. Amy's Future Husband to appear. 

I'm finally learning what it means to be still. I'm learning how to soak up all that there is in this season, and not simply let my mind race to the next. I'm learning how to not just wait for marriage, but thrive in singleness. 

So as I'm sitting in church, I'm thinking about this whole waiting thing. I'm thinking about how one of my biggest love languages is words of affirmation, and how I'm not receiving that right now. 

But then it dawns on me: I am. I'm actually receiving it more than I ever have in my entire life. Because my ears are finally tuned to hear the words of affirmation that I receive from God. And that's huge. 

Baby tears welled up as I thought of all the ways that He affirms me daily. 

He calls me beautiful. {Psalm 45:10-11}

He tells me I am precious to Him. {Psalm 72:14}

He tells me I am strong. {Psalm 84:7}

He calls me His. {Jeremiah 32:38}

He says I am important, and I have a purpose. {Acts 26:16}

He considers me righteous. {Romans 4:23-24}

He calls me wanted. {Romans 8:15}

He tells me I am loved. {Romans 8:38-39}

And the list goes on and on. It's a little mind blowing, huh?

He is constantly showering us with love, encouragement & affirmation. But sometimes, just like in our relationships here, we don't receive it because we're on a different wavelength. 

Ya'll: let's receive it. Let's open our hearts to it. And if we don't know how, let's ask Him to help us. Let's ask Him to teach us to respond to the love language that is Him. After all, He is love, right? {1 John 4:8} 

He affirms us, holds us every step of the way. He is always desiring time with us, constantly showering us with gifts, and never ceases to serve. 

What will happen when we start receiving that Love? I've got two words for you. 

Game. Changer. 

On Being Single

I feel like it's been a while since I really poured out my heart here. That was one of my favorite thing about the 31days challenge, just taking time each and every day to dig through some of my own internal thoughts right here on my little space in Blogland. And so, at 11:25PM after a day that's been nonstop since 6:30AM, I sit down to dive into a topic that's near and dear to my heart. Good plan, right? 

I think so. Less filter will probably mean more of the good stuff. ;)

***

If you're new around here {from a giant giveaway, perhaps?}, hello! My name is Amy, and I blog here at Sweet Home Santa Barbara. I know it would be a much smarter strategic-blogger move to do a light hearted introduction post, but oh well. I've never been much strategic around here anyway. {But you can check out any of these posts, if you'd like!}

You've probably figured out by the title of this post that I'm single. There's not many of us here in the Bloggy World, but here I am! I wanted to share on that a little today. This blog has turned into quite the documentation of my life journey over the years, and I want to be able to look back on these early 20s and be reminded of the amazing things that God did. I also want to document it for any other single ladies out there. Maybe you're searching for some encouragement, just to know you're not alone in this "I thought I'd be married, or at least seriously dating, by now" phase of life. I've been there, and let's be real, I'm still there from time to time. 

There is not a single doubt in my mind that I am meant to be single right now. For how long? I don't know. But I look at my life, and I just know that I'm in the right place. I look at the friendships that I'm able to invest serious time in, and at the church that I'm able to really pour my heart into. I look at the speaking opportunities, the Bible studies, and this here blog. I look at the weekend trips, and the monthly visits home to San Diego. It all fits just so perfectly, and I know that there is a reason that God has me single right now. Could that change tomorrow? It sure could. But for right now, at this very 11:37PM moment, I have so much peace about being single. 

I think that's the key to living a happy life {among many others, I'm sure}, finding peace in your situation, whatever that might look like. Sure, it might change at the snap of a finger. But for right now, you are where you are, and God wants to use you. Period. He's not waiting on you to figure out your junk, or get your act together. He's not waiting until you're older, or wiser, or in the next phase of your life. He just wants to use you. Right now. 

I used to think that I held the key to being "ready for a relationship." I imagined that God was sitting up there with my future husband in sight, just waiting for me to learn all my lessons, and get all my mistakes out before He would send him my way. It recently clicked that this is so far from the truth. God isn't waiting on me, if He wanted me married, I'd be married by now. And I'm certainly not going to have all my mishaps out of my system before I get married {sorry future husband}. Learning is a part of life, there's no expiration date on that. 

Realizing that lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. My motives were all out of whack before, and it feels like God realigned me. Instead of focusing on growing closer to God to be a better wife one day, I can breathe & focus on growing closer to God simply to grow closer to God. When I stumble and fall, I no longer view it as a roadblock to my future husband, but as a learning situation. I realize that the goal is not to get married one day, the goal is to live this life for Jesus. To love like Him as much as I possibly can in this worldly body that I've been given. And if marriage will one day bring glory to His name, then I have no doubts that's in the cards for me. But for now, I can find peace knowing that this season of singleness is no accident. It's not a result of my past sins, it's simply where God wants me right now. And I rejoice in that. 

Yupp, you read that right. I rejoice in being single.

If you're single right now, I hope you can find some encouragement in knowing it's no accident. God is not punishing you with your singleness, & He hasn't forgotten you. I know it can feel that way, believe me. But take heart in knowing that He has a plan for you. And it's a good one. 

For Your Friday

This video is an excerpt from our pastor's sermon "When Sparrows Fall." He gave this message shortly before his 8 year old daughter passed away from cancer, and it is probably one of the most powerful sermons I've ever heard. 

If you have the time today, watch this video. I can promise you those 6 minutes will leave an impact that will last much longer. 

Be encouraged, my friends. For He is with you.