Tuesday, February 25, 2014

Love Languages

I feel like everyone and their mother have heard of this by now, but if you haven't, allow me to explain it to you. There are these things called love languages. There are 5 of them, and they're supposed to be the 5 different ways that people can receive love. 

They are:

Words of Affirmation
Physical Touch
Quality Time
Acts of Service

Each of us receive love in different ways. Something that makes you feel extra loved may not necessarily make me feel extra loved, and vice versa. Maybe you feel the most loved when somebody surprises you with a gift, or perhaps when someone randomly washes your car, or makes you dinner during a particularly busy week. 

I feel extra loved when someone wants to carve out time in their schedule to spend time with little ol' me. Or when they walk up and give me a big giant hug. Or when they affirm me with their words, especially that one. 

Apparently, I have 3 love languages. I'm gonna look at that optimistically and say it'll make life much easier for my future husband when trying to show me love: bam. 

The point is, we each have very specific ways in which we feel loved. And the way we receive love is usually the way we give it, because you know, we think that's the best one based on our personal experience. 

I often show love by making coffee dates with my friends, and I always greet people with a hug. I do my best to affirm others with my words, because I know how far that goes with me. 

But what happens when the person I am showing love to has a love language of gifts or acts of service? A disconnect forms when I feel like I'm going above and beyond to show my love, but they aren't receiving any of it. 

So clearly, the key to a healthy relationship is communicating about love languages, and clearing up that disconnect by being attentive to the ways you each receive love. 

And clearly, I would know this because you know, I'm in a healthy, thriving relationship, and all.
{ba dum chhh}

I was sitting at church on Sunday, when a serious truth washed over me. I was thinking about this season of singleness, which can often feel like a season of waiting. The truth is, I'm waiting on the Lord & His perfect timing, but sometimes, it feels like I'm just waiting for Mr. Amy's Future Husband to appear. 

I'm finally learning what it means to be still. I'm learning how to soak up all that there is in this season, and not simply let my mind race to the next. I'm learning how to not just wait for marriage, but thrive in singleness. 

So as I'm sitting in church, I'm thinking about this whole waiting thing. I'm thinking about how one of my biggest love languages is words of affirmation, and how I'm not receiving that right now. 

But then it dawns on me: I am. I'm actually receiving it more than I ever have in my entire life. Because my ears are finally tuned to hear the words of affirmation that I receive from God. And that's huge. 

Baby tears welled up as I thought of all the ways that He affirms me daily. 

He calls me beautiful. {Psalm 45:10-11}

He tells me I am precious to Him. {Psalm 72:14}

He tells me I am strong. {Psalm 84:7}

He calls me His. {Jeremiah 32:38}

He says I am important, and I have a purpose. {Acts 26:16}

He considers me righteous. {Romans 4:23-24}

He calls me wanted. {Romans 8:15}

He tells me I am loved. {Romans 8:38-39}

And the list goes on and on. It's a little mind blowing, huh?

He is constantly showering us with love, encouragement & affirmation. But sometimes, just like in our relationships here, we don't receive it because we're on a different wavelength. 

Ya'll: let's receive it. Let's open our hearts to it. And if we don't know how, let's ask Him to help us. Let's ask Him to teach us to respond to the love language that is Him. After all, He is love, right? {1 John 4:8} 

He affirms us, holds us every step of the way. He is always desiring time with us, constantly showering us with gifts, and never ceases to serve. 

What will happen when we start receiving that Love? I've got two words for you. 

Game. Changer. 


Hilda said...

Beautiful! And so true God shows us little ways that He loves us. But in order to notice it, one has to be still. You are loved, Amy, and even though we can't see Him, we are in His loving arms, being cuddled with love and protected. ❤️

Mosby Hardin said...

Love languages are one of my most favorite topics!!! I receive love through quality time as well! But I have found that I show love opposite of how I receive it. I love giving gifts. But hate receiving them. I think your so right that we all need to show a little more love in this world:) great post love!

The Pink Growl said...

Oh my sweet Amy! The Lord has MOST DEFINITELY placed you in my life for a reason. I struggle with this single girl stuff as well. It feels like once I get a good handle on it and feel good about where I'm at, something reminds me that I am single and I start back at square one. I think my love language is probably affirmations/time too. This post was SO what I needed to hear this morning!!!! Thank you for sharing this! Love you friend!

Rainey said...

Amy, this is perfect timing for me. I just decided to take a Facebook break for Lent (and I started early). I want to fill that space with building my relationship with God. What are some of your favorite studies for single women? I would like to do some devotionals over the next 40+ days.

Sybil Brun said...

Amy, this was sooooo beautiful!! So well written, poignant, and TRUE!! XO