On Being Single

I feel like it's been a while since I really poured out my heart here. That was one of my favorite thing about the 31days challenge, just taking time each and every day to dig through some of my own internal thoughts right here on my little space in Blogland. And so, at 11:25PM after a day that's been nonstop since 6:30AM, I sit down to dive into a topic that's near and dear to my heart. Good plan, right? 

I think so. Less filter will probably mean more of the good stuff. ;)

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If you're new around here {from a giant giveaway, perhaps?}, hello! My name is Amy, and I blog here at Sweet Home Santa Barbara. I know it would be a much smarter strategic-blogger move to do a light hearted introduction post, but oh well. I've never been much strategic around here anyway. {But you can check out any of these posts, if you'd like!}

You've probably figured out by the title of this post that I'm single. There's not many of us here in the Bloggy World, but here I am! I wanted to share on that a little today. This blog has turned into quite the documentation of my life journey over the years, and I want to be able to look back on these early 20s and be reminded of the amazing things that God did. I also want to document it for any other single ladies out there. Maybe you're searching for some encouragement, just to know you're not alone in this "I thought I'd be married, or at least seriously dating, by now" phase of life. I've been there, and let's be real, I'm still there from time to time. 

There is not a single doubt in my mind that I am meant to be single right now. For how long? I don't know. But I look at my life, and I just know that I'm in the right place. I look at the friendships that I'm able to invest serious time in, and at the church that I'm able to really pour my heart into. I look at the speaking opportunities, the Bible studies, and this here blog. I look at the weekend trips, and the monthly visits home to San Diego. It all fits just so perfectly, and I know that there is a reason that God has me single right now. Could that change tomorrow? It sure could. But for right now, at this very 11:37PM moment, I have so much peace about being single. 

I think that's the key to living a happy life {among many others, I'm sure}, finding peace in your situation, whatever that might look like. Sure, it might change at the snap of a finger. But for right now, you are where you are, and God wants to use you. Period. He's not waiting on you to figure out your junk, or get your act together. He's not waiting until you're older, or wiser, or in the next phase of your life. He just wants to use you. Right now. 

I used to think that I held the key to being "ready for a relationship." I imagined that God was sitting up there with my future husband in sight, just waiting for me to learn all my lessons, and get all my mistakes out before He would send him my way. It recently clicked that this is so far from the truth. God isn't waiting on me, if He wanted me married, I'd be married by now. And I'm certainly not going to have all my mishaps out of my system before I get married {sorry future husband}. Learning is a part of life, there's no expiration date on that. 

Realizing that lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. My motives were all out of whack before, and it feels like God realigned me. Instead of focusing on growing closer to God to be a better wife one day, I can breathe & focus on growing closer to God simply to grow closer to God. When I stumble and fall, I no longer view it as a roadblock to my future husband, but as a learning situation. I realize that the goal is not to get married one day, the goal is to live this life for Jesus. To love like Him as much as I possibly can in this worldly body that I've been given. And if marriage will one day bring glory to His name, then I have no doubts that's in the cards for me. But for now, I can find peace knowing that this season of singleness is no accident. It's not a result of my past sins, it's simply where God wants me right now. And I rejoice in that. 

Yupp, you read that right. I rejoice in being single.

If you're single right now, I hope you can find some encouragement in knowing it's no accident. God is not punishing you with your singleness, & He hasn't forgotten you. I know it can feel that way, believe me. But take heart in knowing that He has a plan for you. And it's a good one. 

Mornings

Weekend mornings hold a special place in my heart. There's just something beautiful about waking up without the dreaded sound of an alarm, isn't there? 

This past Saturday, I woke up to a dark sky. It wasn't so much the open my eyes -- stretch a bit -- roll over to go back to sleep type of awake. It wasn't even the open my eyes -- stretch a bit -- reach down to check my phone -- roll over to go back to sleep type of awake. 

It was awake awake. 

And it was also 5:26 AM. 

Now, I'm gonna go ahead and guess that a lot of people would be legit pissed at this point. It's kind of an underlying truth of adulthood, isn't it? You're never able to sleep in when you have the time to. 

But I wasn't pissed. I've come to really appreciate mornings like this. Mornings where I have hours ahead of me with no commitments. 

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I'm sure I'm not alone when I say that I often find myself dreaming of future seasons. After all, the saying "the grass is always greener" got popular for a reason, right? 

Right now, there are a lot of future seasons ahead of me. There's the season of dating, embarking in a committed relationship with a man of God. 

There's the season of engagement. Making it official that I have limited days as Miss Amy Reed ahead of me, and marking that I will soon be making vows to spend the rest of my life with another. 

There's the season of being a newlywed. I'm sure this season will entail a lot of awkwardness as I start living with a man for the first time in my life, but it will also mark an incredible season of love. 

And of course, there's the season of parenthood. The sleepless nights, soccer practices, dance recitals, and I'm sure a lot of pulling my hair out. 

Will all of these seasons happen? God knows the answer to that. 

But am I left with a lot of potential future seasons to dream about? You bet. 

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This particular Saturday morning, at approximately 5:30 AM, I realized something. I realized how priceless these mornings are to me, in my current season. 

These mornings where it's just me and God. Where I can immediately start my day without distractions, in prayer with Him. Where there's no stress, only peace. Because it's just me. Getting ready for whatever the day has ahead of me. 

These weekend mornings where I can fill those first few hours with whatever my little heart desires. Whether it's reading the Bible, journaling, or catching up on my favorite tv shows. 

I'm a big believer that there is beauty in every season. And it's important to recognize that, and appreciate it so you don't miss that beauty. 

Because before you know it, you will wake up and find yourself in an entirely different season, rejoicing over something entirely new. Or, facing new struggles. 

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So I made a vow to God this past Saturday morning. I vowed that I want to try my darn hardest to wake up every single morning, and immediately give thanks to God for this season. 

To thank Him for these mornings. And to really, truly appreciate them. 

Because I know it's only a matter of time before I'm waking up to a snoring husband or screaming children. 

So in this season of singleness, I will walk in thankfulness.