Wednesday, December 4, 2013

On Being Single

I feel like it's been a while since I really poured out my heart here. That was one of my favorite thing about the 31days challenge, just taking time each and every day to dig through some of my own internal thoughts right here on my little space in Blogland. And so, at 11:25PM after a day that's been nonstop since 6:30AM, I sit down to dive into a topic that's near and dear to my heart. Good plan, right? 

I think so. Less filter will probably mean more of the good stuff. ;)

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If you're new around here {from a giant giveaway, perhaps?}, hello! My name is Amy, and I blog here at Sweet Home Santa Barbara. I know it would be a much smarter strategic-blogger move to do a light hearted introduction post, but oh well. I've never been much strategic around here anyway. {But you can check out any of these posts, if you'd like!}

You've probably figured out by the title of this post that I'm single. There's not many of us here in the Bloggy World, but here I am! I wanted to share on that a little today. This blog has turned into quite the documentation of my life journey over the years, and I want to be able to look back on these early 20s and be reminded of the amazing things that God did. I also want to document it for any other single ladies out there. Maybe you're searching for some encouragement, just to know you're not alone in this "I thought I'd be married, or at least seriously dating, by now" phase of life. I've been there, and let's be real, I'm still there from time to time. 

There is not a single doubt in my mind that I am meant to be single right now. For how long? I don't know. But I look at my life, and I just know that I'm in the right place. I look at the friendships that I'm able to invest serious time in, and at the church that I'm able to really pour my heart into. I look at the speaking opportunities, the Bible studies, and this here blog. I look at the weekend trips, and the monthly visits home to San Diego. It all fits just so perfectly, and I know that there is a reason that God has me single right now. Could that change tomorrow? It sure could. But for right now, at this very 11:37PM moment, I have so much peace about being single. 

I think that's the key to living a happy life {among many others, I'm sure}, finding peace in your situation, whatever that might look like. Sure, it might change at the snap of a finger. But for right now, you are where you are, and God wants to use you. Period. He's not waiting on you to figure out your junk, or get your act together. He's not waiting until you're older, or wiser, or in the next phase of your life. He just wants to use you. Right now. 

I used to think that I held the key to being "ready for a relationship." I imagined that God was sitting up there with my future husband in sight, just waiting for me to learn all my lessons, and get all my mistakes out before He would send him my way. It recently clicked that this is so far from the truth. God isn't waiting on me, if He wanted me married, I'd be married by now. And I'm certainly not going to have all my mishaps out of my system before I get married {sorry future husband}. Learning is a part of life, there's no expiration date on that. 

Realizing that lifted a huge weight off my shoulders. My motives were all out of whack before, and it feels like God realigned me. Instead of focusing on growing closer to God to be a better wife one day, I can breathe & focus on growing closer to God simply to grow closer to God. When I stumble and fall, I no longer view it as a roadblock to my future husband, but as a learning situation. I realize that the goal is not to get married one day, the goal is to live this life for Jesus. To love like Him as much as I possibly can in this worldly body that I've been given. And if marriage will one day bring glory to His name, then I have no doubts that's in the cards for me. But for now, I can find peace knowing that this season of singleness is no accident. It's not a result of my past sins, it's simply where God wants me right now. And I rejoice in that. 

Yupp, you read that right. I rejoice in being single.


If you're single right now, I hope you can find some encouragement in knowing it's no accident. God is not punishing you with your singleness, & He hasn't forgotten you. I know it can feel that way, believe me. But take heart in knowing that He has a plan for you. And it's a good one. 

21 comments:

Heather Leigh @ Like a Morning cup of coffee said...

You are ah----mazing!! I honestly wish I blogged while I was single. I was the only single person I knew which made things super hard and it was difficult to see the joys I do now about singleness. There are so many blessings in singleness just like there is in Marriage, and having children but if we don't stop to see them we'll seriously miss out. I'm so glad you rejoice in singleness friend and that you are not letting the enemy rob you of your God given joy! That means that you will also rejoice in Marriage and children.. Because you love this thing called life! Yep, your in inspiration all right!!


And P.S Can I just say as a writer I seriously admire you for writing this blog post at 11:37 pm at night!! That's pretty impressive to me especially with it being so well written, zero typo's and all that jazz :)

I feel like if I were writing that late it would make absolutely no sense haha!

Hilda said...

YOU SAID IT GIRL! I'm single too and so happy about it. Yahooo! :)

Lovelyladyjb said...

Great post! That was one thing I definitely enjoyed when I was single, and I knew in due time someone would come. It happened when least expected and that's how Jesus moves! He always has a plan and it's definitely no coincidence you are in this place at this time!

Melissa Jo said...

I love you my dear friend and this post. I'm struggling with singledom more than anything else right now - and I keep having to tell myself that this is the season I am in and to rejoice and be glad for what I do have because I do have so much.

The Pink Growl said...

Amy I love this! And you :) I have only very recently become really comfortable in being single again too. And it took me SO LONG to get there. But like you said, I just KNOW that I am supposed to be on my own right now. To grow myself and my relationship with God. It's amazing how much closer I have grown to Him during the past year. Such a blessing - even if it was one in disguise. Thank you for posting this! XOXO

Kiki said...

Amen girl, AMEN. No matter what season of life we're in, we need to rejoice and be glad in it. :)

And I love what you said about God having us where we are for a reason. We're not single because there's something wrong with us, but rather, it's because God wants us there for a reason and His amazing plans for us will unfold in His time. That is something I have to remind myself of every single day.

So grateful for encouraging fellow single ladies like you who I can call friends!

carr_gill said...

Thanks so much girl for this. It is truly a blessing to me to read this and know.... I'm not the only one :) so thank you. Just wanted you to know that this was a great reminder for me.

Caitlin said...

I felt so out of place when I was single and blogging and look at you embracing all of it! You are so wise beyond your years and a true gem!

Sybil Brun said...

Amen to that! Just awesome, Amy girl!

Shannon Quigley said...

I kinda think your awesome LOL! Your writing has given my heart a lot of peace in the last few months. Thank you for sharing what you do :)

Jordan said...

You knocked this out of the park! I hope this reaches a lot of single (and not single) ladies. There is so much truth in this! His timing is perfect.

Angela said...

This is amazing girl! It is hard to be content in a lot of life circumstances, but your trust and contentment is inspiring! I feel like with that contentment comes big life changes. I feel like the moment I really was ok with being single I found my husband. I actually avoided being in a relationship with him because I had just accepted the single life and really liked myself and what it taught me... :)

L said...

You are amazing Amy!!! I LOVE your heart and how this applies to EVERY single lady out there. :)
You are truly wise beyond your years friend!
Much Love!
Lisa

Rainey said...

That's awesome, Amy! I'm glad you are so at peace with being single. I'm struggling with that right now. I'm 30, most of my friends are married, and I have a guy friend who has been there for years, but just hasn't gone beyond friends. It can be frustrating... but I do try to be happy in my singleness most days. I like what you said about God is not waiting for you to learn your lessons. I've had people say that to me... that God is trying to teach me something... that's very frustrating because I feel like I'm doing the best I can and then it starts feeling like a punishment for something I don't know I'm doing. It's refreshing to hear someone say quite the opposite. You are wise beyond your years. :-)

Miss ALK said...

Love this post! I am a sophomore in college and I am also single. I think that this year I have developed a better attitude towards my singleness, but sometimes the "single gal blues" still get me down... it's blog posts like these that help to get my focus back on track though!!

Thank-you for sharing your heart! I recently wrote a post with my "new" thoughts on singleness: I'd love for you to check it out! http://missalk1994.blogspot.com/2013/12/a-new-season-of-singleness.html

xoxo A
http:///missalk1994.blogspot.com

Melissa said...

I just love you - you've got a lot of wisdom, girlfriend! As you know, i was single forEVER (or at least it felt like it)! But i am SO thankful i waited for the right person that God brought into my life. I feel like a lot of girls rush into relationships or go from one guy to another, never stopping to just enjoy friendships (with guys & girls!) & grow closer to the Lord. He alone knows who He's planned for his daughters to be with - one day! :) He is the best matchmaker! I know so many who are miserable in their marriages, and it is so sad. There were seasons that i rejoiced in my singleness & seasons where i definitely did NOT but He always brought me back to remembering that He knows best. And he did know best. I love marriage! And i think part of that is b/c God helped me wait on His best. ;)

Rainey said...

Amy, do you mind if I reference this post in a post I'm writing? I'm thinking of putting it up tomorrow. Let me know. :-)

Leah said...

it makes me so happy that you are using this season to pour yourself out in your ministry. it's the best thing you can do while you wait for 'prince charming' to arrive. love you friend.

Angi Pratt said...

Girl. I am SO glad you found my blog and now I've found yours. I feel like we are two birds singing the same song. Love your heart and what God is doing. Can't wait to read more!

RadicalCookie said...

Amen :)
"I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do all this through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:11-13 <3

Amy said...

@Rainey, sorry I am just now responding girl! Yes, you can always reference any posts! Blessed that you would want to. :) <3