Wednesday, March 27, 2013

On Dating

Disclaimer: This post is on my heart, but I really have no idea where it's going to go. So expect a lot of babbling, and few pictures.

You okay with that? K cool. Here we go. 


Even just thinking about how old Amy used to approach dating stresses me out. Like stresses me the eff out. Because that's all it was for me: stress. 

And now that I've sufficiently stressed you the eff out with my usage of the word stress (okay, done now), I have some good news. 

In case I haven't mentioned it enough, God has been making some major changes in my heart lately. 

He's been shifting my view, teaching me, molding me into the person that He designed me to be. 

And with those changes, the stress that used to consume so much of my life has turned into the kind of peace that can only come from Jesus Christ, Himself. 

Recently, I had a break through with my dating life. 

You see, when I realized last year that I needed to surrender my entire life to Christ, the main thing I knew I was holding onto was my dating life. 

But guys, I was gripping on for. dear. life. 

We all have those things that we look to for security, right? The things that make us feel important, wanted, validated. 

Maybe for you it's your job, your role as a Mom, or your friendships. 

Maybe it's your leadership role in your church. 

We are constantly seeking approval, and fortunately, Christ releases us from that. He shows us that we are important. We are wanted. And that can never be taken away from us. 

But is it just me, or do we tend to smile at Christ and nod our heads like "Yes, Lord! You're right!" while secretly one hand is reaching out towards our security blanket here on Earth. 

That's how it was for me. And my security blanket: dating. 

I loved being someone's girlfriend. I honestly don't think it mattered who, as long as he had some good things going for him, I was thrilled to assume the position of girlfriend. 

And as I was hearing God cry out to me "I can give you what you're looking for!", I smiled and nodded, but couldn't ignore the voice in the very back of my head that said 
"No God, you can't." 

I think acknowledging that voice was the first step to my redemption. 


It was there. And it was controlling my actions, and my thoughts. 

Even as I was growing closer to God in a way that I never had before, releasing things that I had been holding onto for so long, that doubt caused me to keep one finger's grip

And one finger's grip makes all the difference, doesn't it? 

You see, the thing with the Christian life, is there is no middle ground. At least for me, there wasn't. I was either surrendering my whole life, or I wasn't. Point blank. 

And for a long time, I wasn't. 

But now, I am. 

Now, I have looked God in the face, with my hands extended out as far as they can go, and said "Here God! My dating life, you take it."

And I said it in reference to my financial situation, and I'll say it again:

You know what comes along with following His lead?



Madalyn said...

Ugh! This post brought tears to my eyes. Our God is so good and everything that we will ever need. I used to think that I needed a man to complete my life, and while I am married and have found a wonderful man to spend the entirety of my life with, I would be and am nothing with out the love of Christ.

God IS good, ALL the time!


Amy Disbrow said...

I used be the same way about dating. I just needed a guy to be there for me...ALWAYS! It wasn't until I stopped looking that God lead the man of my dreams to me and me to him. :) Everything happens for a reason. Our God is an Awesome God!

Julie said...

So good. So so good. Amy, now that you have given Him total control over your dating life, He will provide for you! In His time, in His way. And it's so much better and more beautiful than trying it yourself! Love you girl! Thanks for sharing your heart so vulnerably :)

Leah said...

so.awesome. seriously, i loved everything about this post. everything.
'Now, I have looked God in the face, with my hands extended out as far as they can go, and said "Here God! My dating life, you take it." - that made me tear up big time. oh if we could only do that ALL the time with EVERYTHING, how much heartache and pain would we avoid!
Great words ms. amy!

Kerrie Williams said...

I love when you post on your ever-growing relationship with Christ. Dating is one of the hardest things to turn over because God made us relational beings. But once we realize that the best relationship we'll ever have is with our Christ, boy.. what a release. :) So excited for the journey God is taking you on Amy :)

Anonymous said...

What a wonderful post. Nothing is more beautiful than the purity of speaking from the heart.

God had definitely surrounded you with His love like big warm fuzzy blanket.


courtney {splendid actually} said...

It is so wonderful to read about your relationship with God. Thank you for sharing this Amy. A good reminder that we need to hand over everything to Him.

Hannah said...

I totally agree with this! I'm glad you decided to surrender and trust God with your dating life. I think it'll bring you more long term happiness and satisfaction. :)

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

So I know you are talking about dating here, but you're so right about things we hold on to for security. We want that validation so badly. It's so hard to totally just let go of those earthly things. But when we do, it's like we can bask in the glorious peace of God's presence. I'm working on this right now. :)

Elizabeth Mayberry said...

:) you are about to start the journey of a life time. once you live fully surrendered your life will never be the same! i am so excited for you!

Melissa said...

This is so awesome, Amy! Fantastic. God is so good! I am so happy in marriage, and i know that a part of it is b/c i allowed God to lead me in that aspect of life. Not that the glory goes to me - it doesn't - i just mean that following His lead, allowing Him to take control of your life as far as relationships go - means that HE will write your love story in HIS timing. And that is a good thing, indeed! :)

Kiki said...

Yes, yes, yes. Remembering to give my ALL to Him and actually doing it is so hard yet so rewarding when I do. And honestly, you really opened my eyes on how I've been using my singleness and fears of being single as a security blanket. Thank you for this post! It definitely hit the spot this Easter. Love you girl! :)

Melissa Jo said...

There is absolute peace when you finally give Christ - "dating" don't hold it back, know that what you are looking for exists and HE will bring it to you. DONT SETTLE FOR ANYONE LESS THAN MIND BLOWING!!!!!!!