Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Life Update - Part 1

I've got 2 big ol' posts coming for you this week, and I'm hoping that I have the quality time to sit down and pour out the words that they both deserve. Fortunately, I have that tonight. So I'm going to plop myself on the floor, lean my back against my bed, and say a prayer. Because my words are nothing without prayer first. 

***


I scoured google to find this image prior to writing this post. I couldn't remember the exact quote, but I knew it was perfect. I knew the words were perfect, and I know that they're true. If you take anything away from this post, take that message away. Not all love stories get to have the "happily ever after" ending, but they can all have love in there. They can all have beauty, and growth, and lessons. If you let them. 

Chris and I aren't seeing each other anymore. If you're super confused about all of this, you may have missed the post in which I announced his existence. Go ahead and read it now, if you want to. It's a beautiful post, and not a single part of me regrets writing it. I'm happy to share this with all of you, I really am. 

We dated for 2 months, and those 8 weeks taught me and changed me more than all of my other relationships combined. For the first time in my life, I was privileged to date a man who truly, truly loves Jesus Christ. He has the love of Christ so deeply embedded in him, that he couldn't not show me Christ's love. Everything he did, whether it was opening my door for me, leaving a note on my doorstep, sending a text to ask how my day was going, or just a single glance in my direction, everything was filled with the love of God. I have never felt so loved in my entire life, and I have no doubt that God used this to show me what that feels like. 

So what happened, you ask? Well, I won't go too far into detail on here. Partially for privacy reasons (blog? privacy? huh?), and partially because there just isn't a simple answer. It just didn't feel right, and that's okay. I'll say it one more time: not every love story is meant to have the "happily ever after" ending. 

But you know what? Ours does. It does because Chris and I will live happily ever after. 
Just maybe not with each other. 

I'm sure you may be feeling tempted to leave an "I'm so sorry!!!" comment, but honestly, I don't think this calls for one. This is a situation where two people want nothing more than to live lives that glorify God, and with our 8 week long relationship, we did just that. We surrendered everything up to God from day 1, and trusted Him with every fiber of our hearts. We challenged each other to be more like Christ. We stumbled, tripped, made mistakes, learned from mistakes. And we sure as heck are walking away knowing ourselves a whole lot better than when we walked in. 

If there's one thing that I learned from this, it's that it is 100% impossible to mess up God's plan. I spent so much time asking for a clear cut, neon flashing light sign to show me what to do. 

But guess what, I didn't find one. What I found instead was the freedom to listen to my heart, and make the decision that felt right. What I found instead was God's promise to bless Chris and me, no matter what we chose. 

We could have stuck it out. There really wasn't any dramatic reason for us ending; we could have continued and God absolutely would have blessed us in our relationship. But instead, we chose to believe that maybe, just maybe, God has other people in store for us. 

And so, the story of Chris and Amy turns out to be a short story versus an epic novel. But it's one that leaves me knowing more about what I'm looking for in a relationship, more about myself, and more about God and His love for me. 

And that, my friends, is a very successful relationship in my book. 

20 comments:

Julie said...

Sweet girl, you are just amazing. I really mean that. This is such a beautiful story of how God can be glorified through a relationship, even if it wasn't an epic novel, like you said. It was a great experience to learn how to have a Christ centered relationship, and I bet that's what God wanted you to take from it! To learn how to trust Him completely with a relationship, and to learn better how to see which way He is guiding your life. I love that your attitude towards this whole thing has been graceful and grateful. I'm so thankful you share your heart so honestly and wonderfully on this blog. Can't wait to see where God takes you next, dear!

Mosby Hardin said...

I love that even though everything did not turn out quite the way you planned it, you trusted God and grew within him. Inknow it has to be tough to not have this relationship be "the one" but your outlook on it is way better than what most girls say or think! Praying for you and Chris both that you do find that person God has for you:) Love you girl!

Rach @ This Italian Family said...

I am so thankful that you got to date this man and learn what it is to be cared for and cherished by a Godly man. Oh, what a blessing! I can't wait to see where life takes you next, sweet friend!

Tamara @ Everything Happens said...

Through my situation, I have definitely learned that every relationship is a learning opportunity. I'm proud of you for seeing this as such! Better things are coming your way!

Pamela said...

I love the way you wrote this. I had a feeling that you two weren't together (not seeing any pictures or anything!) but didn't want to dive in & be nosey, ha! Nosey? Blog? Say what? Ha! Glad that the relationship helped you out & helped you figure out what you want even more! God def puts people in our lives for a reason! Hope you have a grreat day! Love ya!

Caitlin said...

This was beautifully written, first off. I'm glad that you could both grow and learn so much from each other and it seems like you were both so mature and honest with each other and that's the best way to go about it. It's refreshing to know that some people don't just stick it out because they feel like they have to, so good for you. I can just feel that you made the right decision. Hope you have a splendid day and love will come your way when it is right :)

Anna said...

You're an inspiration girlfriend!

courtney {splendid actually} said...

Friend, you are so awesome in your faith. I truly admire your trust in The Lord. An what an amazing post for other single ladies. It's incredible to me how God teaches us things, and even though I'm not in the same position as you, God is using you to show me how to have more faith in Him. I learn from you each and every time I read your blog. Thank you for sharing your heart.

Hilda said...

Oh my gosh,I hope it's not because of what I said before! After our talk I felt fine about it. :O

I hope you are not sad. Your guy that God chooses for you will come some day. never lose hope and have faith in God. :D

Amy said...

Good for you!
You have the right perspective on this situation; and that deserves a high five!
:)
Proud of you!

Charlotte said...

This was so wonderfully written! I could use some of your positivity right now! So thank you!

Eleanor Harte said...

I think you are amazing. Thanks for writing such an honest, well-written post. I am so happy for you that you got to see first-hand what it's like to be part of a God-centered relationship, and now you know how you should be treated in the future! xo

Francesca Brown said...

So proud of you beautiful lady. It takes courage to walk away from a relationship where there isn't necessarily something wrong but where you know it's not quite right! I love this whole post. So beautifully written sweet friend!

Leah said...

i absolutely love your heart. it really shows how much you hang on to the Lord and what He's doing in your life. such a beautiful post!

Jordan said...

I totally missed that other post! I'm sorry (for missing the post, not for the breakup.) This is basically the greatest break up post in the history of break up posts. Your wisdom is so grand here. I wish that every girl in the world who had a broken heart and is going through the whole "I will never love again" feeling could read this right now. God is in control and knows what is best. This was so wonderfully and beautifully written.

Kiki said...

Your faith in Christ is something so admirable, Amy. In times of a break-up, I know there are people out there who would lose faith in Christ, but you my friend, have proven sin that God is victorious in all seasons of life and that His plans for you are what's best.
Even though you two aren't together anymore, I still believe that your relationship is one that we should all look at and admire. Your desire to put Jesus first is something that we all need to do and for that, I thank you for not only sharing the beginning of this love story, but the end, too.

And I completely agree with Francesca, you are SO brave, friend! So very, very brave. :)

erin m. said...

Amy, I'm so inspired by your attitude! The way you look to and point to Christ in all things, and how you are able to see the value (not the regret) in something, is so awesome. You inspire me, girl!

Kerrie Williams said...

love you friend :)

Caravan Sonnet said...

This was BEAUTIFULLY said sweet friend. SERIOUSLY. I am so inspired by your attitude and your outlook on your relationship and the direction that the Lord has taken it. I look forward to rejoicing with you in who is apart of the "epic novel" but in the meantime I am praying that the Lord continues to bless you with peace and love in this new season. Lots of love friend,
Rebecca

Olivia said...

Just now getting the chance to read this. You did good, friend! After our talk I was excited and nervous for you to write this post. You're so right and your words are so powerful. I literally learn from you daily and I love it!