Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Ripple Effect

We were driving in the car, to a fro yo date to be exact. Me in the driver's seat, her diagonally behind me in the back, our usual seating arrangement. I was doing what I always do when she's in the car, blasting ridiculous tunes with corresponding ridiculous dance moves. She was indulging me with giggles that will probably only last a few more years before they turn to embarrassment. 

She asked me if I ever wear my contacts anymore. I said I wear them on special occasions, the way she does with the pretty dress she had on that day. She asked if it's because I didn't take care of my contacts. Clearly, one: she is too smart for her own good, and two: Mom took advantage of a "learn-from-your-older-sister's-mistake" moment. 

She then said in her proudest voice, "I'm going to get glasses soon!" 

I asked her, "Really? Did you go to the eye doctor?" To which she responded, "No, Dad tested me by holding up notecards with letters on them." {Got a good laugh imaging that. Way to go Dad, who needs them eye doctors anyway?}

I asked her how she felt about getting glasses; she said she was excited. "2 of my friends wear glasses," she said, "and you do too."

I praised, and praised, and praised Him in that moment.

 I praised Him for every visit to the eye doctor in the last year and a half that left me with the same diagnosis: your eyes hate contacts. I praised Him for every failed attempt to fix that. I praised Him for every time I sat and cried because I felt ugly in my glasses, for every time I wrestled with the lie that I would never find a husband in these things. 

Sound a bit dramatic? Isn't that just how the enemy works? He plants these lies in your head that just spiral, and spiral, and spiral. 

Until they don't spiral anymore. Until you put your foot down on that rock solid ground of God's truth and say enough. Until you look up to heaven, and through teared eyes confess that you need help believing His truth, because you're done with the lies. 

And that's what I've done these past few months. I've looked up to Him and asked Him to help me believe His truth that says I'm beautiful. That says I'm altogether beautiful, beautiful in every way. {Song of Solomon 4:7} 

Beautiful with or without makeup, give or take 5, or 10, or 20 pounds, in a perfectly coordinated outfit or in sweatpants, and with or without glasses

I praised Him in that moment, because He came through. I'm not sure when or how it happened, but some time during Catalyst, my mind just shifted. The lies started fading, and the truth started solidifying. It will be an ongoing process, I'm sure, but it's happening. 

And it's not just affecting me. It never just affects us, does it? Our lives affect the people around us whether we realize it, or not. Whether we want it to, or not. 

And in this particular situation? I want it to. I want to do everything in my power to ensure that little girl grows up knowing she is beautiful inside and out because her Father in Heaven made her that way. 

Just two weeks ago, I was hard core wrestling with this. I knew there was good in the outcome, but I was very much mourning the process it would take to get there. I wanted to use this to help as many girls as possible learn the lesson that I was learning, that we put conditions on our beauty when we try to live up to the world's standard of beautiful, conditions that God never created, nor intended for us. I wanted to help others learn this, but I was really struggling with learning it myself. I was really struggling with giving up those conditions. 

And you know what, it was worth the struggle. It was worth it to hear her little, tiny, 9 year old voice talking about wearing glasses with pride

He really, really does work everything together for good. {Romans 8:28}

Happy Tuesday, friends. Whether you're wrestling, resting, or rejoicing today, I hope it's a blessed one. 


Gen Delali said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Gen Delali said...

you look beautiful in your glasses! :)

Rainey said...

You are honestly as gorgeous in your glasses as you were without them! You rock those awesome frames. I'm so glad you have been so influential in your sister's life that she wants to be like you in so many ways. Keep up the good work, girl!

HK said...

So cute! I remember when a neighbor/close friend of mine wanted to get glasses when she was about your sister's age (she was a couple years younger than me), simply because I wore them and we wanted to look alike.

p.s. you look terrific in glasses-- just think of them as another fashion accessory-- the right pair to complement your face can look really great!

p.p.s. also remember how many of your friends wear specs and still managed to snag husbands ;-)

Kerrie Williams said...

what a beautiful story. God used you to give your sister confidence, even when you didn't feel it yourself. His grace His grace His grace :)

ashleyswavel.com said...

You're beautiful in your glasses! I'm in the same boat as you. I wear contacts maybe one day a year, for a special occasion, because my eyes just don't do well with them. I cringe when I watch these "makeover shows" where they automatically put the women in contacts to make them "more beautiful". Thank you for posting this - I'm glad I'm no the only one who has felt this way!

erin m. said...

i love the relationship you have with your little sister. the Lord is using her in your life for sure!

Leah said...

look at that. He works in everything at all times. so good amy and she is just precious!

Angela said...

Such a sweet post! :)

Pamela said...

Aww yall two are so sweet!