This is my second time participating in this link up. Back in April, I wrote about how my name was:
I wrote about how God's love has set me free from my quest for self validation and recognition in this world. How my Savior Jesus Christ and what He did on the cross ends the vicious cycle of constantly searching for love and identity in this world.
Funny story: when I first saw that this link up was coming back for round 2, it only took me a couple of minutes before I found what I planned to write about. I immediately had a name come to mind, and set it aside expecting to write the post when I sat down on this Thursday evening.
But as it came time to write this post, the name didn't sit quite so well anymore. Not because it wasn't true or accurate, but just because it wasn't the best way to describe this current season of mine.
I almost didn't want to write a post, because I couldn't think of a word to accurately depict this very diverse season that I'm facing. This season of incredible blessings, but also a season of a lot of change. And with change comes self reflection. Perhaps it's just me, but with self reflection, I often am faced staring straight at my heart, and can find things that I don't like admitting are there.
When conflict arises, I typically describe myself as "bad at confrontation." I flee from uncomfortable situations, and because of that, I find it difficult to confront others.
What God has shown me this week, is that I not only avoid confronting others, I also avoid confrontation with myself. I pack my days full to the brim with activities and plans, and in His kindness, God has revealed to me that I have multiple reasons for doing so.
Yes, my main reason is because I love community and fellowship. I firmly believe that my ministry field is in lunch dates, dinner dates, coffee dates and anything with one on one interaction. Anything that lets me show a person I care about you. I want to know what's on your heart.
But, God has revealed to me another motive behind my busy schedule. He has revealed to me that I am most definitely avoiding some confrontation of my own.
And in this beautiful season of change that I have been blessed with, I choose to stop avoiding that confrontation. I choose to walk with my Father straight into whatever it is that I'm avoiding. Whatever fears or insecurities that I am choosing to overlook, and I say
now God. Now, I am ready to deal with these.
So hello! My name is Amy. I am a child set free by God's love, and I am a
7 comments:
Great post, Amy! now if only I can do the same. I'm not good at confronting anything. :(
Wow, Amy. A ministry of coffee dates and lunch dates. I think we are all called to that on some level but I think it's something so many of us avoid because it's the hardest. It's where we are more vulnerable. Thank you for sharing this and for linking up.
Amy there is so much I can learn from you. Especially in the ministry in lunch dates area. I have such a hard time in one on one ministry. I get extremely anxious. Group leading is much easier for me. But I know that coming up, I'm going to have to get over that! You have encouraged me today. It's time to confront my insecurities and do what God wants, whether that makes me uncomfortable or not, in order to let God work through me.
i really like your name. i think it's hard to confront the things inside of us, our worries, frustrations with God, what is happening around us, but when we do He meets us there and gives us peace. so good to see what the Lord is doing in you!
The idea of dinner date ministries sounds so wonderful, yet at the same time I cringe. I get nervous in one-on-one ministering; I'm not a confronter. But God creates all of us to work for Him in different ways. I pray that when, not if, the opportunity shows it's self, I'll be able to step out and share my heart and call myself a confronter too. Praying for you!
Uh. Stop. This is exactly me. This is exactly where I am at. I struggle so much with confrontation. I avoid it at all costs. I am busy beyond belief. Filling up my schedule with everything and anything not to reflect on why I feel certain ways. it is a struggle. I want to confront. I want to be bold. I want to rest in God's truth and not in my insecurities. Lord help us to confront these and lean on each other!
Confrontation is so difficult. It is something I have really worked on over the last several years. But I honestly hadn't thought much about confronting myself. Really good thoughts here, Amy!
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