Marriage Mondays - On Marrying Your Best Friend

Growing up, I think I romanticized the idea of the person you're dating also being your best friend. I would say it with nearly every person I seriously dated, that they were "my best friend." And I would genuinely believe it, too. 

Looking back, I think a more accurate statement would have been that they were the person I spent the most time with at that time, or my favorite person to be around. It wasn't until I began dating PJ that I first experienced the beautiful merge of friendship & romantic love. 

Perhaps it was the long distance between us that led us into deep friendship, or perhaps it was just how our relationship progressed, but either way I am forever grateful for this aspect of our relationship now that we are married. Because now, I can say without any hesitation that I married my best friend. 

Romance gives me butterflies when I walk in the room, and friendship has me going to him for advice. Romance has us slow dancing in the living room, and friendship has me laughing at all of our inside jokes. Romance has us holding hands while driving along the 101, and friendship makes him my all-time favorite travel companion. Romance is what sparked our connection at first sight, and friendship is what gave me a deep sense of security in our relationship. 

Even in just our 6 weeks of experience, I can already see the importance of being intentional with both romance, and friendship. I see how easy it is to slip into the day-to-day routine without leaving room for romance, and I also see how important it is to have a foundation of friendship to help during arguments or "off" days. 

I am so grateful to have gotten to marry the man who caught my eye from across the room, but I am equally, if not more grateful to marry the man who has faithfully pursued both my heart, and my friendship. 

***

I am ending today's post on a question, because I'd love to hear it! What are some ways that you intentionally pursue both romance and friendship in relationship? A girl could always use some new ideas, right?

Why Your Words Matter

When I first started blogging, I was 22 years old, and a completely different version of myself. I had no idea that by starting a blog, I was really doing much more than just claiming a spot on the interweb. I was really taking the first step towards finding myself. 

Almost 6 months after starting Sweet Home Santa Barbara, I surrendered my life to Jesus. Like, real deal, no more of this "you can have 10% of my life, and I'll run the other 90%" biznass. It was full on "I have no hope except in You, so take my life and do what you want with it." 

It was the most liberating feeling I have ever felt. 

Except, I had no idea what that really meant. Besides the fact that I knew my entire life had to change. 

You see, no part of my life before was Christ-centered. And now I suddenly wanted Him to have my whole life, but I had to figure out what that meant. 

I have no idea how, but one day I found myself reading a blog called The Williams Post (now Life On a Mission). I was soooo attracted to the words I found there. Post after post after post seemed to just ooze Jesus; it didn't matter if He was the subject, or not. It was clear that this woman lived for Christ, and everything she did seemed to shine for Him. 

I want that, I thought. 

I wanted to be bold enough to talk about the changes going on in my life. I wanted to share the love I was feeling for this Man named Jesus. Something in me desired to be known only for Him, not for wine or cheese or food or beer or nights out or funny drunken stories or any of the things I was currently known for. I wanted to be known as a woman who's life was turned upside down by the love of Jesus. 

But I was afraid. I just wasn't bold enough for that yet. 

Until Kerrie unintentionally gave me the push that I needed. 

 She started a weekly link up called the Tuesday Challenge. Each week, she would give a prompt providing an opportunity to live our your faith, a little challenge of sorts. Something like pay for the person behind you in line, or write a letter to encourage a friend. The goal was to go out and love, and then come back and write about it. 

It became the one day a week that I talked about my faith. One day, I thought, I can manage that. 

Blogger statues ;)

Writing just that one day a week started a fire in me. I felt a passion writing those posts, that I didn't feel while writing the others. I felt more myself writing about Jesus, which was odd and unfamiliar and wonderful all at the same time. 

Kerrie's boldness was contagious. Her fire for the Lord, her genuine love in her marriage, her passion to love and serve others, I knew it was the life I was created to live, too. I knew it was the life that I wanted to live, too. 

Almost 2 3 years later (woah, just realized it's been almost 3 years, not 2. time flies), I can say that by the grace of God, I am living that life now. This imperfect girl is living with a fierce passion to glorify her loving Savior. The fear of talking about Jesus? That's long gone. {Praise the Lord}

Kerrie's words sparked something in me. And I want you to know that your words carry the same power that her's did. Because words are powerful, aren't they? They change things, they do things. They inspire, and encourage, and motivate. 

Your words matter. And if you're ever feeling discouraged, if you're ever doubting that, remember the profound effect that Kerrie's words had on me. All she was doing was coming and pouring her heart out on her corner of Blogland, and Jesus took that and used it to drastically change the course of my life. 

Keep writing. Keep pouring out your heart. You never know who's life you're changing. 

{All pictures are from this past weekend, when I finally got to visit Kerrie & Wade in their mission field of Reynosa, Mexico after years of talking about it. Thank you, blogging, for the amazing friendships and experiences that you've brought into my life!}

A Friendship For The Books

It's one of my favorite people in the whole wide world's birthday today. 

It used to be the one day of the year I could get all sappy on her, but either she's gotten better at handling that, or old age has gotten her more sentimental. ;) Either way, I'm a lover of sap so here it comes. 

I told Kristi that if I ever write a book, she's getting her own chapter. She's taught me so much about friendship, and it would take an entire chapter's worth of pages to express all of it. 

My favorite quality of hers is her honesty. She's not one to sugar coat, and I love that about her. She cares enough about you to tell you when you're freaking out over nothing, over-analyzing the shiz out of a situation, or when you need to ditch the person you're dating because they're not good enough for you in her book. And I've come to find that Kristi's book is pretty spot on. 

It's not easy to keep it real. Even when you really love someone, it can still be way easier to just say what you know they want to hear. Kristi has shown me that real friendship can handle honesty, it strengthens because of it. 

In our almost 7 years of friendship (say what?), we've walked through a lot. We have that friendship where when there's something to celebrate? We're there. When shit hits the fan? We're there even faster. 

I recently joked that when I get married, I need to give my future husband a cheat sheet. It'll read:

When angry, get flowers. 

When sad, give a hug. 

When super excited, have a dance party. 

When hyperventilating crying, call Kristi. 

Any Grey's Anatomy fans out there will get it when I say that she's my person. 

As you get older, you grow and you change. Some friendships get to the point where the original stuff you have in common, you just don't have in common anymore. For Kristi and me, we did grow. And we did change. But something else happened as we got older, we made a conscious decision that this friendship? It's not changing, even if we do. 

And it hasn't changed, it's only gotten stronger. 

I love you, Kristi!! Thanks for being my other half. 

And for the next 13 days, I officially get to call you old. ;)

That Time I Met Francis Chan

Finally sitting down to write the post I've been meaning to write for 2 weeks now, hooray! Before I get to the part about meeting Francis Chan, I just have to take a moment to start at the beginning. Aka, I get to gush about my friendship with this one:

God is so intentional with our friendships. They come into our lives at just the perfect times, with so much purpose. I met Heidi through an equally God-ordained friendship, with my at-the-time coworker, Kali. 

It was almost 2 years ago that we all met, and it's crazy to think of the ways we've all changed since then. Heidi and I were mere acquaintances until our friendship really deepened towards the end of last year. 

It was one of those things where every sentence resulted in a "me, too!" Such a sweet blessing to meet someone with such similar struggles, yet similar convictions as well. An understanding that allows for honest confession, that is always met with a push closer to Jesus. 

God has used her friendship in my life in so many ways, it's such a fruitful and blessed thing. And among our many, many things in common, we both became huge Francis Chan fans after hearing him speak at Catalyst. When we found out he was doing a free {yes, free} conference in LA, we just had to jump on that opportunity. 

We stalked googled, and found out he was speaking on Friday night. So what else are two Francis fans to do, but spontaneously road trip it LA for the night to listen to what was sure to be an amazing, impactful message. 

We were not disappointed!

Just walking up, everyone was so incredibly friendly. We felt welcomed as though we knew everyone already, even though we knew no one. Walking up, many of the close seats were already taken. Though neither of us were intentionally seeking it out, we happened to find some open front row seats. 

Seats that a mere ten or fifteen minutes later, were just a handful over from Francis himself! {!!!}

{insert fan girl moment}

Of course we had to say hello, and ask for a picture. He was so kind and humble, even as we gushed over how much we loved his Catalyst message just the month before. 

It was truly a blessing from God, getting to meet the man who has encouraged both of us so much in our walk with the Lord. 

The rest of the evening can only be described as an overwhelming encounter with the Spirit. The opening worship: so good. The message: so good. The closing worship: off. the. hook. 

Francis poured out the truth that "when you are secure in your relationship with God, and about how He feels about you, the little things don't bother you anymore." And with that profound statement, he invited us to pray over one another. He invited those of us feeling secure in the understanding of God's love for us to pray over those who craved that security for themselves. 

The Holy Spirit said "go." And so I did. People flooded that carpet for prayer, for an encounter with the Lord. I was reminded of the numerous times that I myself have begged the Lord for more understanding of His vast love for me, and I laid hands on my brothers and sisters, and asked for just that. 

Guys, I can't put into words what happened in that room. 

All I can say is I want more of it. 

I hope that today, you are feeling secure in God's love for you. Like Francis said, it changes

everything. 

If you're not, and you'd like to, please let me know. I would love to pray for you in that. Shoot me an e-mail if you'd like {sweethomesbblog@gmail.com}, because my dear friends, there is serious power in prayer. 

"And may you have the power to understand, as all God's people should, how wide, how long, how high, and how deep His love is."

Ephesians 3:18

Happy Tuesday, loves. <3

Lady Friends

Here come's another Monday! Hope your weekend was a great one. Mine definitely was. One of the ones that I walk out of just simply praising the Lord for this beautiful life He's blessed me with. 

I was always a girl who wanted a boyfriend, who didn't feel complete without a second half. Or rather, who didn't feel complete without a second half to fill her mind with reassurance and affirmation. 

I'm so thankful for how things played out in my life. I'm so thankful that I'm 24 years old and still 100% single. I never would have imagined feeling so happy, fulfilled, and complete without a relationship. 

You know why that is, though? I'm about to gush on the seriously amazing lady friends in my life. But as amazing as they are, they aren't the reason that my life is fulfilled. I went through a season of looking to my friends for that, and it wasn't any different than turning to a relationship. Just put a heck of a lot more pressure on my friendships. 

The reason is because that's just who our God is. He truly, truly is all-sufficient. He truly can satisfy every single craving or need in our little human hearts. He really does fulfill our ever desire. Sometimes, we just can't realize that because our hands are busy grasping things we can find down here. Like relationships. Or friendships. 

Having always been a girl who was terrified of being alone, I am so thankful that the Lord radically restored my heart to see that no relationship can fill me like He can. It allows me to truly enjoy singleness, and all of the blessings that come with it. 

Like these seriously amazing lady friends that I was talking about. 

Saturday was filled with time with these incredible women that I am blessed to call friends. A group of us took a morning hike, trekked up to the top of a workout-of-a-mountain, and enjoyed the gorgeous view of Inspiration Point. 

After a good shower and some party prepping, we opened our doors to a dozen+ of our gorgeous lady pals to enjoy a "We Love You Too Much To Only Celebrate Once" Post-Valentine's Party. 

When we were looking for places back in the holiday season, we would simply dream of a perfect house. One of the main dreams we had was to have a place where we could entertain and host others. This has been the third big event we've hosted in less than 2 months of living here, and each time our living room and kitchen are packed to a brim, I can't help but praise the Lord for how perfectly He brought all this together. 

I looked around at all of those women in that house, and felt thankful for each one. Some I've known longer than others, and some I may know more about. Some I may see weekly, and others not as much. But I am thankful for each one. 

I'm walking into this new work week full from a weekend packed with friends, fellowship and fun. I hope your weekend was packed with all sorts of good stuff, too!

The Prayer Night

Two days before I left, I held a prayer night at our brand spankin' new house. Friends from all different areas of my life piled in, first divided into sub groups of who-knows-who, and eventually settling into one giant circle in our living room. I started setting the tone for prayer, when a dear friend politely interjected. She had heard a word from God as she walked up to our door, a word that led her to suggest that before we pray, the group took the opportunity to fill me up. To fill me up full of love and affirmation, so that I could take it with me to pour out all over Kisoro, Uganda. 

And so it began, each person took some time to share how I have impacted their lives. Some who I have known for years now, and others for just a few months. There were some of the kindest, most meaningful compliments ever given to me said in that circle. And some of the most beautiful, genuine tears shed. 

I can't quite explain the feeling that came over me. Not a single tear fell from this cry baby over here, and I think it was because a significant part of me was quite literally in shock. All I could do was praise God, because I knew that only He was responsible for everything that was taking place. 

I have never felt more full of love than on that night. And my friends, that is what life was made for. We were created to live in fellowship with God, and in fellowship with other people. It even says so in the Bible, "The Lord God said 'It is not good for the man to be alone.'" {Genesis 2:18}. 

We were made to fill each other up, to love each other, to support each other, to push each other closer to Christ. And on that Monday night, surrounded by some very dear friends, that is exactly what happened. They filled me up, they loved me, they supported me, and they pushed me closer to Christ. Oh, did they push me closer to Christ. I went to sleep that night praising Him so, so much. 

I am so grateful for that friend who spoke up and boldly proclaimed that she had word from God. Because of her and every single person in that room, my heart was exploding from love before I even set foot on a plane. 

And it's a good thing too, because boy, did He have work coming for that thing. 

My first Friendsgiving!

This past weekend, I attended my very first Friendsgiving. 

Can I just say that I am beyond blessed to have so many amazing people in my life? I couldn't help but look around the room, and feel super thankful. Some people I've known for years now, and others not as long. Some know every tiny detail going on in my life, and some are just acquaintances. But none of that really mattered, we all got together and celebrated this beautiful thing called "friendship."

And if you think that's cheesy, you should have heard my toast. ;)

I will now introduce you to the guest of honor. He's the newest edition to the group, but we've taken quite nicely to him. He's stolen just about every girl's heart, and I think you'll see why.  

If we're snapchat friends, then I probably blew up your feed with pics of this little guy.

#sorrynotsorry

I hope to make Friendsgiving a tradition for years to come. These people really have become like a second family to me, it's only fair that we celebrate the major holidays together. 

Happy Friendsgiving! From our family, to yours. 

The Story of a Friendship

Has there ever been a time where a new friend has walked into your life, and you just know the friendship is a gift from God? 

This seems to be happening more and more lately, and I just am blown away by how much God loves us and desires for us to have community. 

Meet Sherry:

I'm going to tell the story of how I met Sherry, because it's a pretty unique one. 

In order to be told fully, I have to go back to a friend of mine, Jorge. Jorge and I went to college together, and we both were in the same major (Math/Econ, aka the cool kids on campus). Our major was fairly small for our ginormous college, so a handful of us got pretty close as we baaarely made it through our last Math and Econometrics courses. 

We would spend hours cramming for those midterms and finals, and making up answers to homework assignments that we were lucky if we understood the question correctly. 

In those hours, not once did faith come up in conversation. I certainly wasn't living as a Christian would at that time, so why would it?

About 6 months after college, I started falling in love with Christ. I didn't want to keep the news to myself, but I wasn't quite sure how to share it with others. So I did the most logical thing I could think of: I started posting about it on facebook. 

And each time I'd post something in those first few months, I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about the response that it would receive. 

I'd be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about what people would think. 

I was always so excited when someone I didn't expect would "like" or comment on a status. It was a reminder to me of how God is so much bigger than I think He is, capturing so many other hearts each and every day. 

Jorge was one of those people that consistently "liked" those comments. And after the two of us finally connected for lunch one day, I found out that God had been pursuing Jorge's heart since graduating, just like He had been with mine. 

Jorge invited me to a Bible talk that he was leading, and there, I met a senior who was applying for a position at the company where I worked. 

Her name was Sherry. 

I told Sherry that I would love to help her in any way that I could, so we exchanged a few e-mails in the week that followed. But months went by, and I didn't hear anything from her. Nor did I see her lovely self at work, so I assumed something else was in store for her. 

That is, until my boss mentioned that we had hired someone new in our department. This was months after that Bible talk, so I had to dig into my archived e-mails to double check before realizing that Miss Sherry herself was about to join my team!

I was so excited to have another Christian on my team. I loved that Sherry brought her Bible to work like I did, and was so inspired by her bible verse sticky notes that she posted around her cubicle. 

I was encouraged by the confidence that Sherry carried. It was so apparent to me that her identity was solidified in Christ, that she lived her life to bring Him glory. She was most definitely an inspiration to me. 

Little did I know, it wasn't in God's plan for us to work together for very long. 

(You can read all about my God driven career change here.)

On our very first lunch date, I told Sherry that I had given my notice and would be leaving in the next few weeks. 

As God would have it, that was our first of many lunch dates. 

Out of all of my coworkers from within my department at my last job, Sherry, the one who I spent the least amount of time working with, is the one who I have kept in touch with the most. 

It felt good to leave knowing that another Christian was filling my shoes. And it felt really good to leave with an excellent example of what it looks like to bring Christ into your workplace.

(Thanks, Sherry!)

My new cubicle is now covered in Bible verse sticky notes.