My Faith in Jesus (part 1)

Today, I want to share a little bit about my faith. What God has done in my life in the past year. Because it's been a lot. And it's been a beautiful process. 

I've written about this process a decent amount on the blog here. It's been a huge part of my life in the last year, so understandably so, it's a huge part of my inspiration to write. 

You can find some other posts on what God has been doing in my life here, here and here.

Today, I want to talk about community. 

I've mentioned that I was saved in High School. On a summer church retreat to Catalina, to be exact. 

I will never forget that weekend that I was first introduced to the Lord. To His love for me. 

I will never forget the hikes into the Catalina mountains where for the first time, I would sit alone with the Lord. And let His word guide my thoughts. Marvel on how wonderful He is.

I will never forget that for the first time, I felt a sense of confidence in who I was. I went on the trip with one friend, and ended up forming an entirely new group of friends instead of hanging out with her and hers. For the first time in my life, I could feel the Holy Spirit inside of me attracting others to become my friend. 

My freshman year had been a whirlwind. My closest friends were a group of girls where drama was a regular on our daily agenda (Bless their souls, those of us who are still friends laugh about it today). My house burned down in January of that year (I was home alone at the time, and very directly related to the cause of the accidental fire). While living in a temporary house, my mom found out she was pregnant with my much younger, beautiful blessing of a sister (But let's talk about adding stress to an already stressful household situation). I got in trouble at school (for the first and last time). I had my heart broken (for the first and not last time). And I developed an eating disorder (that I have struggled with ever since). 

Whirlwind, right? 

Jesus gave purpose to every part of that insanely stressful year. Jesus redeemed me, removed the shame from my life, and simply loved me. 

My sophomore year was spent completely consumed in Christ. I was involved with the High School youth group, going to events on around 5 days a week on the reg. 

It was wonderful. 

I will never forget what it felt to learn about Jesus, and to really learn and be interested, for the first time in my life. 

I will never forget what it felt like to have friendships based on Christ for the first time. 

To have role models to look up to, Godly role models. 

However, after getting a job at 16 that often conflicted with church on Sundays, my relationship with God started taking a back seat. 

When I was at church, my heart belonged to Christ. But Christ certainly did not lead all other areas of my life. When I transitioned from High School youth group to normal adult service, I began going to church alone. 

And to be honest, I think I liked it that way. When I would sit in service, I would see others my age in groups, and I could tell that I wanted a sense of community. But I did not actively seek it out. 

I think I was just comfortable with my relationship with Jesus being a personal thing for me. Sundays were my time to be alone with the Lord (even while surrounded by so many other Christians). And I grew content with that. 

So through college, that continued. Although my church attendance drastically dropped. 

I went to church on my schedule. And to be honest, I only sought out the Lord while going through difficult times. Funny how that happens, huh?

Again, I would see groups of college students going to church together, and I felt a longing for that. But I didn't know how to find it. I wasn't ready to change my lifestyle, I was afraid of what that would entail. 

So I went to church on the occasional Sunday, and I returned to my normal routine immediately after. My friends were not believers, so that was that. 

To be honest, there are of course times that I wish I clung to the Lord through out college. Because I realize now how incredible it is to live for Him. I recognize how there is absolutely a fine line between living in the world, and living for Jesus. And I never want to go back, not after tasting His goodness. So of course, a part of me wishes that I hadn't wasted my first 7 years of being a Christian. 

But, I would not change a thing. 

I love my friends from college. And who knows if we would be friends had I been walking in faith in every aspect of my life. 

I would not be the person I am today if I hadn't walked the walk that I did. I maybe would not appreciate the incredible gift of community that I have been blessed with. 

And now that I see how long this post is going to be, I'm going to split it into 2 parts. 

This is where I was. This is the life I lived until January 1st, 2012. I was a lover of Jesus, who had no idea what it looked like to walk with Him. 

I knew what I wanted out of life, but I thought it was unattainable. I thought there was no way that someone like me could be as Spirit-filled as the leaders that I saw in church. 

Well thank you Lord, for proving me very, very wrong. 

Pinterest Holiday Recipes!

We had our Book Club holiday party this weekend, and it was the perfect time to try out some pinned holiday recipes. 

They did not disappoint. 

So since the holidays are about sharing and caring, here they are for you:

Original recipe found here.

Ingredients:

-1 cup + 1 tablespoon flour

-1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder

-1 tsp baking powder

-1/4 tsp salt

-2 cups semi-sweet chocolate (I just used chocolate chips)

-2 eggs

-1 tsp vanilla extract

-5 tablespoons unsalted butter

-3/4 cup brown sugar

-1/4 cup sugar

-York peppermint patties

Directions: 

1. Sift together flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and salt together in a medium bowl. Set aside.

2. Melt 1 cup chocolate chips in the microwave for 1 minute. Stir, and continue microwaving for 30 second increments until fully melted and smooth. Set aside. 

3. In a small bowl, whisk the eggs and vanilla together. Set aside. (This recipe does use a lot of bowls, in case you haven't noticed, ha! But besides that, it's very simple and easy!)

4. With an electric or stand mixer (I did use one, but I also think you can melt butter and mix the rest by hand), beat the butter until smooth and creamy. Beat in the sugars, and then mix in egg/vanilla mixture until fully incorporated. Add the chocolate in a steady stream, and beat until combined. Add the dry ingredients on slow speed. Mix in last 1 cup of chocolate chips. 

5. Chill dough for 30 minutes. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. 

6. After dough is chilled (the dough is freaking amazing at this point, be warned!), scoop about 2 tablespoons of dough, and roll into a ball. Flatten a bit, and press pieces of peppermint patties on top of each cookie ball. 

7. Bake for about 10 minutes. 

And voila! Best. Cookies. Ever. 

Original recipe found here.

Ingredients:

-40 salted Saltine crackers (we got the generic brand) or enough to line your cookie sheet

-1 cup unsalted butter

-1 cup packed brown sugar

-2 cups semisweet chocolate chips

-3/4 cup chopped pecans

Directions:

1. Preheat oven to 400 degrees. Line cookie sheet with aluminum foil (We used parchment paper, and it stuck to the bottom. Don't recommend!). Line saltine crackers in a single layer on the cookie sheet. 

2. In a small pot, combine sugar and butter and bring to a boil. Continue boiling for 3 minutes. Mixture should be a deep caramel color. Immediate pour over saltines, and spread to cover crackers completely. 

3. Bake at 400 degrees for 5 to 6 minutes, until it gets bubbly. Remove from oven, and sprinkle chocolate chips over the top. Let sit a couple of minutes to melt. (We melted chocolate chips in microwave, and poured over saltines then. Either should work just fine.)

4. Spread melted chocolate entirely over saltines. Top with chopped pecans. Cool completely (We put it in the fridge for about a half hour) and break into pieces. 

So quick. So easy. So good. 

These delicious desserts made for a perfect Great Gatsby themed Holiday party!

Hope you had a great weekend!

To Write Love on Her Arms

I have another YouTube video for you today.

I met Bree Macallister in my Community Group through church. She honestly is one of those people that just lights up a room with her personality and presence. I found out she was in cosmotology school to become a hairdresser the first time I met her, and immediately asked her if she would cut my hair for Locks of Love.

Come January, I will cut off 10 inches of my hair by golly!

I have had the priveledge of getting to know her over the past few months, and I had no idea that she had such a story.

A story that I am so honored to be able to share with all of you.

Please watch this video. It may seem a little intense for a Friday, but listen to the message.

Because there is a beautiful message in there.

Grace, love, joy.

There are so many good things in this life.

And when we open up and are vulnerable with one another, we can truly share them all together.

Love you guys. Have yourself a Happy Friday!

Because I love you

This will make your day.

You're welcome.

Verse For Thought

Romans has always been my favorite book of the bible. Something about it being the first book that I read beginning to end as a new believer, and the nearly completely highlighted orange pages, just makes me fall in love with Christ all over again every time I read it. 

What can I say? There's a lot of gold in there. 

Or, I guess now there's just a lot of orange. 

Ha, I know. I'm hilarious. 

Anywho, when we had to decide what we wanted to study in our bible study, I immediately suggested the idea of Romans. We've been going through it every week, and I have so enjoyed getting a new perspective on all of the words and ideas that inspired me to commit my life to Christ in the first place. 

A verse that truly spoke to me this week is Romans 7:6,

But now we have been released from the law, 

for we died with Christ, and we are no longer captive to its power. 

Now we can really serve God, 

not in the old way by obeying the letter of the law,

but in the new way, by the Spirit. 

I think Christians have a rep for living a life of rules. And from an outsider's perspective, I can totally see that. I mean, they're called the 10 commandments for a reason, right? They're commanding us to live our life a certain way. 

But the thing is, that's not quite how it works. We are not saved by following rules, or living according to any particular laws. The truth is, living a life perfectly following the commandments is impossible. 

We are saved by our loving savior, Jesus Christ. We are saved because he loved us so much that he came and died for us, to release us from the law that kept us from our Father. 

I don't think anyone wakes up one morning and thinks, I want to live in a way that seems ridiculous to the rest of the world. 

At least I certainly didn't. I was right there living in the world, and not thinking anything of it. 

Until I invited the Spirit into my life. And that's when things changed. That's when I wanted to live my life according to these rules. 

Today, I am thankful for a Father that does not hold us to an impossible standard. I am thankful for a loving Father who recognizes how deeply flawed we are as humans. And in spite of ourselves, works within us to make us the best versions of ourselves. 

Hallelujah!

Fitness

I want to talk about fitness today. 

2012 was a big year for me fitness-wise. There were some serious health goals that I accomplished (and some that I almost accomplished).

The keyword there: were.

I want to be honest here. Ever since my stress fracture, I have pretty much completely lost it. Some of that has to do with getting out of the routine. The other part has to do with switching jobs. Instead of working M-F 8-5, I'm working 9 hour days with every other Friday off.

And believe me, I am STOKED. But when I'm getting in to work at 7AM instead of 8, it's tougher to get to the gym in the morning.

I could honestly list a long list of excuses for you right now. And they all most of them make sense, but really, that doesn't matter.

I'm not as happy as I was before.

I have less energy.

I just don't feel like myself anymore.

For a solid 9 months of this year, I was feeling so much stronger than I ever have before. I may not have noticed a difference on the scale, but I could feel the difference.

And honestly? The only reason I wasn't seeing a difference on the scale was because of me. Was because of my diet choices.

You can only work off so many feasts of Mexican food, am I right?

I want to get back there. 

Screw waiting for New Years to make resolutions, I want to start now. 

And I want to do it better than before. Instead of throwing all of my energy into my work out routine, I want to focus some on making better diet choices too. I already cut out meat (still pesky and going strong!), so might as well make it count right? 

After all, subbing carbs and sweets for meat won't do the trick, will it?

So here's to change. 

Did it once. I can do it again.