Hello, My Name Is ...

This is my third time participating in this link up, and it's by far one of my favorites.

{Thanks, Kerrie & Kerry!} 

Each time, it causes me to really pause and reflect. What is my identity? Who am I to you, God? All good questions that I really should be asking myself each and every day. Because the answers to those questions, they change everything.

They change how we look at other people, as those we can serve instead of those who can affirm us. They change the way we serve, as something we are blessed to do instead of something we have to do. And they change the way we feel about God, turning Him from a distant big figure to a near Big Father. 

This round of Hello, My Name Is comes at a good time for me. I'm slap-bam in the middle of a season of change. The kind of change that I can feel God working in, so it's a good change. But it's also 100% something I didn't see coming, and that can cause some discomfort. I've got to re-find that perfect spot on the couch to sink into the cushions and get comfortable again. 

This change is showing me how narrow my vision can be. It's taking long term plans I had made for myself, and shattering them to create new ones. It's a beautiful process, really. But you know what I'm realizing? How much of our identity can get wrapped up in our plans. And really, how much of our identity can get wrapped up in things that aren't God. 

So I'm having to take a step back. It's my natural inclination to think everything through, to dream all the way through to fifteen years down the line, and even if it doesn't happen exactly the way I dreamt it to be, at least there's some false stability in that. 

Today, I honestly couldn't tell you what a month from now will look like. And that thought can get my heart racing. It can get my thoughts anxiously swirling around. But it also brings me to a deeper place of surrender, and puts verses like:

I cry out to God Most High, 

to God who will

fulfill His purpose

for me. 

Psalm 57:2

 to so much more meaning. The fact is, God does have purpose for my life. Whether I can imagine it, or not, that doesn't change His plans.

And so today, I find my rest in a simple, yet profound piece of my identity. 

 

I am His. My plans are His. My life is His. My identity is His.

And knowing that, my friends, is a thousand trillion times better than knowing what my life will look like one month from now. 

Hello My Name Is... (Part 2)

This is my second time participating in this link up. Back in April, I wrote about how my name was:

I wrote about how God's love has set me free from my quest for self validation and recognition in this world. How my Savior Jesus Christ and what He did on the cross ends the vicious cycle of constantly searching for love and identity in this world. 

Funny story: when I first saw that this link up was coming back for round 2, it only took me a couple of minutes before I found what I planned to write about. I immediately had a name come to mind, and set it aside expecting to write the post when I sat down on this Thursday evening. 

But as it came time to write this post, the name didn't sit quite so well anymore. Not because it wasn't true or accurate, but just because it wasn't the best way to describe this current season of mine. 

I almost didn't want to write a post, because I couldn't think of a word to accurately depict this very diverse season that I'm facing. This season of incredible blessings, but also a season of a lot of change. And with change comes self reflection. Perhaps it's just me, but with self reflection, I often am faced staring straight at my heart, and can find things that I don't like admitting are there. 

When conflict arises, I typically describe myself as "bad at confrontation." I flee from uncomfortable situations, and because of that, I find it difficult to confront others. 

What God has shown me this week, is that I not only avoid confronting others, I also avoid confrontation with myself. I pack my days full to the brim with activities and plans, and in His kindness, God has revealed to me that I have multiple reasons for doing so. 

Yes, my main reason is because I love community and fellowship. I firmly believe that my ministry field is in lunch dates, dinner dates, coffee dates and anything with one on one interaction. Anything that lets me show a person I care about you. I want to know what's on your heart. 

But, God has revealed to me another motive behind my busy schedule. He has revealed to me that I am most definitely avoiding some confrontation of my own. 

And in this beautiful season of change that I have been blessed with, I choose to stop avoiding that confrontation. I choose to walk with my Father straight into whatever it is that I'm avoiding. Whatever fears or insecurities that I am choosing to overlook, and I say 

now God. Now, I am ready to deal with these. 

So hello! My name is Amy. I am a child set free by God's love, and I am a

Hello My Name Is...

In January of 2012, I accepted my need for a Savior. I accepted that I needed to surrender my entire life to Christ, and trust that He would make something beautiful of it. 

Little did I realize that in order for Him to make something beautiful of my life, He would first have to do a lot of work with my heart. 

You see, by the world's standard, I would say that I was a pretty good person with a pretty good heart. 

But the more I got to know Christ, the clearer it became to me that seeing things through God's eyes and seeing things through the world's eyes are two very different things. 

According to the world, my heart was just fine. 

But the world couldn't hear my thoughts, or understand the motives behind my actions. The world couldn't see the deep insecurity behind every good deed. The world didn't understand that I was using every accomplishment, every honorable action, and even every friendship as building blocks to create a ladder. A ladder that would keep me far, far away from my fear of failure. 

A sweet friend wrote a beautiful post on fear this week. She wrote that fear is more than just a word. That it's something that can take over your life. And she so boldly confessed that it had taken over her own life. 

This week, I realized that fear has taken over my life, too. 

I have an intense fear of not being enough. A fear of going unnoticed. 


And I mask this fear by searching for recognition. And that quest for recognition has manifested itself into a competitive nature in my heart that sits and stews to birth bitterness and jealousy. 

One not-so-tiny fear of mine has now created a competitive, bitter & jealous side of my heart. One that I didn't want to admit was there, but I felt it all the time. 

And so this week, I decided that I had had enough. So I dug deeper. Why am I afraid of these things? What is the root of this fear? 

I realized that it's not being noticed that's important to me. It's not the accomplishments that I'm searching for. Or the recognition. 

It's love. My fear of not being noticed, or not being good enough stems back to a fear of not being loved. 

And as I realized this, a wave of peace came over me. 

Peace that came from realizing how irrational my fear was.

I am set free of this fear because of the love of Christ. I am set free because His love is unconditional. There is nothing that I can do to reverse it. 

And once I stop searching for love in this world, once I let go of this quest for recognition and validation, I can be free to truly give the selfless kind of love that only comes from Christ. 

Hello, my name is child set free by the love of God. 

It is so nice to meet you!



PS: If you're new around here, feel free to check out this giveaway to win one of these necklaces:

Happy Friday, friends!