Love Without Sex || 1

Those of you who have been around for a while (you know, from when I was consistently blogging) know that I have a huge heart for purity. So much so that I once wrote on it for 31 straight days. I have a heart that beats for lies to be shattered, wounds to healed, and new life to be given. And my passion for this? It comes from experience. Because in a single moment, my lies were shattered. By the grace of God, my wounds were healed. And because of my sweet Jesus, I was given new life. My view on sex was flipped upside down in a matter of minutes, and let me tell you, it was without my invitation. 

That's right, I didn't raise my hand willingly at a church event, or sign a contract proclaiming a new desire to wait until marriage. My God chased me down, with unrelenting love, and gave me a new mind and a new heart for my own good & for His own glory. 

My heart is to share my story in hopes that maybe, just maybe, God is doing the same chasing work in your life. Maybe He's after your heart, and maybe you just need a little encouragement. Maybe you need to see a life transformed to know that it can be done. Maybe you need to hear that there will be men who don't lose interest when you say you want to wait until marriage. Maybe you need to hear that it's okay if you're trying and failing, He won't give up on you. And maybe you need to have the word sexy redefined. 

Cause girl, there isn't anything sexier than a man who looks you in the eye and says "I want you forever" and means it. 

Maybe you're like I was and can't possibly comprehend how a serious relationship can exist without sex. Maybe a glimpse inside of one will give new vision to an area that you never expected would change for you. I never thought it would change for me, but here I am, writing a post about waiting until marriage. 

Whoever thinks God doesn't do miracles anymore? Let me just testify, my life is filled with them. 

I am blessed to have a boyfriend who actually encourages me to talk about our sex life, or lack there of. {ba dum chhh}

So if you're wondering what my wonderful PJ thinks about me writing about such intimate details of our relationship? Wonder no further. He's quite possibly more excited about this than I am. 

{Actually, I take it back. I'm pretty excited.} 

Regardless, this is a joint venture. I may be doing the tapping against the keyboard, but this is a two-person effort. Because this relationship? And this waiting thing? You better believe it's a joint effort. Ain't no way I could do it on my own. 

Why do we care to share our personal details on the internet for anyone and everyone to see? Because we care that much about this. Because somewhere along the way, we both started believing a lot of things about sex that just weren't true. And it's only by the grace of God that we are where we are today. So by golly, we're gonna talk about it. 

This isn't meant to shame, or condemn, or start an argument. If you're feeling judged, please remember who's doing the talking. This is a girl with a sexual past who has no reason or right to judge anyone, and would never want to. This is a girl who believes in loving people, period. Not loving those who agree with you, or loving those who listen to you. Why? Because that's what my Jesus did. 

This series is written with an understanding that these words can do nothing without the power of the Holy Spirit. He alone changes lives, and words can simply testify to His power. 

This series is written with the hope that it will start a conversation in your heart. And not just about sex, because purity isn't just about sex. The title might read "Love Without Sex," but that's only because I once believed that the first required the second. I once was certain that love wasn't real love unless it included sex. 

And because I can speak as someone who truly believed that, it is now my heart's desire to present a love that is romantic, dreamy, exciting, real and yes, without sex. 

But it's only those things because of the single most important aspect. It's romantic, and dreamy, and exciting, and real because it's centered on the God who created love. It's without sex not because of self control, but because of the Holy Spirit who births self control. 

I'm excited to go on this journey with you. I'm blessed to testify of a kind of love that once seemed foreign to me, and is quite often still found foreign to our culture. 

I was recently involved in a sweet conversation with a soon-to-be-bride and a group of both married and unmarried friends. The married friends were giving honest, real, and yes, funny advice on what to expect with sex. It was so beautiful, so innocent, and felt like exactly what romance and marriage were designed to look like. 

A dear friend who knows my heart and my life well kindly checked in with me afterwards, inquiring "did you feel any sadness?"

"No," I said. "I am filled with too much joy and thankfulness and praise over where I am today to have even an ounce of regret."

And that, my friends, is why I share.