Growing up, I think I romanticized the idea of the person you're dating also being your best friend. I would say it with nearly every person I seriously dated, that they were "my best friend." And I would genuinely believe it, too.
Looking back, I think a more accurate statement would have been that they were the person I spent the most time with at that time, or my favorite person to be around. It wasn't until I began dating PJ that I first experienced the beautiful merge of friendship & romantic love.
Perhaps it was the long distance between us that led us into deep friendship, or perhaps it was just how our relationship progressed, but either way I am forever grateful for this aspect of our relationship now that we are married. Because now, I can say without any hesitation that I married my best friend.
Romance gives me butterflies when I walk in the room, and friendship has me going to him for advice. Romance has us slow dancing in the living room, and friendship has me laughing at all of our inside jokes. Romance has us holding hands while driving along the 101, and friendship makes him my all-time favorite travel companion. Romance is what sparked our connection at first sight, and friendship is what gave me a deep sense of security in our relationship.
Even in just our 6 weeks of experience, I can already see the importance of being intentional with both romance, and friendship. I see how easy it is to slip into the day-to-day routine without leaving room for romance, and I also see how important it is to have a foundation of friendship to help during arguments or "off" days.
I am so grateful to have gotten to marry the man who caught my eye from across the room, but I am equally, if not more grateful to marry the man who has faithfully pursued both my heart, and my friendship.
***
I am ending today's post on a question, because I'd love to hear it! What are some ways that you intentionally pursue both romance and friendship in relationship? A girl could always use some new ideas, right?
Awesome post! It's definitely hard not to slip into the daily routine as you say. One thing that has helped our friendship as a married couple is comedy! I know it may sound silly but every time I see something I know would make Andrew laugh I take a picture and send it to him. Or I tag him in it on Facebook. That way when he gets it he knows I was thinking about him, and when I see him later we have a hearty laugh ❤️
ReplyDeleteThis might not apply so much as newlyweds, but don't forget to spend intentional time together even after you expand your family. We neglected one on one time after our oldest was born, but it didn't take long to find the error in our ways. We make a huge effort to plan overnight dates once a quarter or so and plan a big trip away once a year. It is always nice to recharge your batteries with your favorite person in tow!
ReplyDeleteI think the longer you're married, the more "romance" becomes about the little things - not necessarily flowers and candlelit dinner kind of stuff, but kind, thoughtful gestures like offering to pick up ice cream on the way home when you know they had a tough day or going for a morning hike with a pretty view. I've definitely noticed it's harder for us as new parents, but I love how being partners in parenting has made us communicate as friends better, too! :)
ReplyDelete