Strength In Stillness

My Tuesday nights have consisted of the same killer work out routine for a little over 2 and a half years now. I love this class so much that I've already blogged about it a few times. 

Every week kills me. It doesn't matter if I haven't missed a week in the last 2 months, I'm still dying by the time we get to strength exercises. It never gets easier, and I absolutely love that.

{Or should I say, my legs do.}

There's something Christine does every single time we get to squats, lunges and plies. She'll have us do a gajillion different reps til our legs quite literally feel like they are going to fall off (you get why I love the class now, huh?), and then she says "last one!" But anyone who's been to her class more than once knows that last one is most definitely not the last one. 

Nope. As soon as we get up from that position, she'll say "now down and hold!" And though you're not quite sure if you're physically capable, you try you darn hardest because of what she says next. 

"There's strength in stillness." 

And by golly my friends, she's right. 

***

I had a realization this week. I realized that my quiet times with the Lord aren't very still. 

I was processing through some stuff when my very wise roommate (who just started a blog! so check her out and leave some love) asked a good question. She asked how much time I had had to really sit alone with God about this. And the truth was, not very much. I'd received lots and lots of great, godly counsel (thankyouJesus), but hadn't had much time alone with the Lord. 

No worries, I thought. I have quiet time with Him every day, we'll chat then. 

I headed to the beach on my lunch break for just that, quiet time. As I was driving over, I was thinking about which book I would read. I had two with me, both great faith-based reads. But then, something hit me. 

How often do I fill my mind with words? All. The. Time. 

I seek out godly advice by talking with friends. 

I read my Bible. 

I read faith-based books. 

I listen to sermons. 

And those are all good things. They are! But they can't be a substitute for Jesus. 

"You search the Scriptures because you think they give you eternal life. But the Scriptures point to me! Yet you refuse to come to me to receive this life."

John 5:39

I was driving to the beach when it hit me, that my quiet times aren't very still. My mind isn't still when words are running through it. And the verse that has been repeating in my mind over and over since that realization is Psalm 46:10. 

He doesn't say be quiet and know that I am God. He says be still and know that I am God. Because there, in that sweet, but sometimes uncomfortable, tense, painful, unbearable stillness, that's where strength is found. 

There is strength in stillness. And my friends, I want to find it.