Life Update - Part 1

I've got 2 big ol' posts coming for you this week, and I'm hoping that I have the quality time to sit down and pour out the words that they both deserve. Fortunately, I have that tonight. So I'm going to plop myself on the floor, lean my back against my bed, and say a prayer. Because my words are nothing without prayer first. 

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I scoured google to find this image prior to writing this post. I couldn't remember the exact quote, but I knew it was perfect. I knew the words were perfect, and I know that they're true. If you take anything away from this post, take that message away. Not all love stories get to have the "happily ever after" ending, but they can all have love in there. They can all have beauty, and growth, and lessons. If you let them. 

Chris and I aren't seeing each other anymore. If you're super confused about all of this, you may have missed the post in which I announced his existence. Go ahead and read it now, if you want to. It's a beautiful post, and not a single part of me regrets writing it. I'm happy to share this with all of you, I really am. 

We dated for 2 months, and those 8 weeks taught me and changed me more than all of my other relationships combined. For the first time in my life, I was privileged to date a man who truly, truly loves Jesus Christ. He has the love of Christ so deeply embedded in him, that he couldn't not show me Christ's love. Everything he did, whether it was opening my door for me, leaving a note on my doorstep, sending a text to ask how my day was going, or just a single glance in my direction, everything was filled with the love of God. I have never felt so loved in my entire life, and I have no doubt that God used this to show me what that feels like. 

So what happened, you ask? Well, I won't go too far into detail on here. Partially for privacy reasons (blog? privacy? huh?), and partially because there just isn't a simple answer. It just didn't feel right, and that's okay. I'll say it one more time: not every love story is meant to have the "happily ever after" ending. 

But you know what? Ours does. It does because Chris and I will live happily ever after. 

Just maybe not with each other. 

I'm sure you may be feeling tempted to leave an "I'm so sorry!!!" comment, but honestly, I don't think this calls for one. This is a situation where two people want nothing more than to live lives that glorify God, and with our 8 week long relationship, we did just that. We surrendered everything up to God from day 1, and trusted Him with every fiber of our hearts. We challenged each other to be more like Christ. We stumbled, tripped, made mistakes, learned from mistakes. And we sure as heck are walking away knowing ourselves a whole lot better than when we walked in. 

If there's one thing that I learned from this, it's that it is 100% impossible to mess up God's plan. I spent so much time asking for a clear cut, neon flashing light sign to show me what to do. 

But guess what, I didn't find one. What I found instead was the freedom to listen to my heart, and make the decision that felt right. What I found instead was God's promise to bless Chris and me, no matter what we chose. 

We could have stuck it out. There really wasn't any dramatic reason for us ending; we could have continued and God absolutely would have blessed us in our relationship. But instead, we chose to believe that maybe, just maybe, God has other people in store for us. 

And so, the story of Chris and Amy turns out to be a short story versus an epic novel. But it's one that leaves me knowing more about what I'm looking for in a relationship, more about myself, and more about God and His love for me. 

And that, my friends, is a very successful relationship in my book.