I got my first negative, anonymous comment on yesterday's post.
I was sure this would come eventually. I would have guessed it would be a comment on my low quality photos, or that I'm a wanna-be fashion blogger.
But this, I didn't expect.
This stung more.
I'm sure the negative comments are never easy. But something about this being from someone I know in real life, made it sting more than I had anticipated.
I had my suspicions of who was behind it, but that just made it hurt more. And God so politely reminded me not to make assumptions.
So instead of letting this upset me, I realized there are some things I would like to say to Anonymous.
First, and before I even get into anything further, I want to say thank you.
Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. Thank you for taking the time to comment, to share your heart.
I recognize that as hurtful as these words were, they were probably coming from a place of love. So I sincerely appreciate that.
You say you are so sad to hear how much I hated myself.
I am not sure where you came upon that idea? I certainly don't think I have ever used these words on my blog, or ever really.
I have had my issues, Lord knows I have. But I don't believe that I have ever hated myself. Perhaps teenage-angst Amy used those words carelessly, but I am fairly certain I have always realized how incredibly blessed I am.
I have always been thankful for the mind, heart and body God blessed me with. Sure, I might not have always made the best decisions, but I have always been thankful for the kind, caring and sympathetic heart that God has given me.
Perhaps, you are misunderstanding my posts where I admit that I am broken.
Allow me to clarify, admitting I am broken does not mean I hate myself.
On the contrary, it means I love myself enough to see what God wants for me in this world. It means I love myself enough to be humble, to admit that I need help from my Heavenly Father, and to say
I want better.
I want better.
Because I do want better.
I want to love better.
Serve better.
I want to be the best that I can possibly be, and I recognize that in order to be that person?
I need Jesus.
This "old Amy" that you speak of? Well I would have to agree with you. There is a very distinct old Amy and new Amy.
And I happen to really, really love the new Amy.
But, I am sorry to hear that you miss the old Amy. I truly am. Contrary to what your comment states, I have nothing but love in my heart for that girl.
That girl had a lot of fun. She made a lot of memories, and formed so many incredible friendships.
But she reached a point where she realized there has to be more to life.
And she found it: Jesus.
So thank you for your comment. Thank you for helping me grow my skin a little thicker.
I hope this post clarifies that I do not have any hatred towards myself, past or present, in my heart.
On the contrary, I have complete faith that every. single. one. of my mistakes from my past will bring glory to God's name.
I'm not sure what aspects of Old Amy you miss, but if you got to know New Amy, you might find they're still there.
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