I just ate an ice cream sundae and I'm feeling a bit gross. I've been seriously slacking on the healthy eating since Vegas. That needs to change. Now.
I confess that it probably won't change until the ice cream carton in my freezer is gone. True story.
Actually this post was not intended to have anything to do with ice cream. Here comes the true confession:
Ready or not, here comes a serious post.
I came to a serious realization recently. One that I am not proud to admit, but one that I feel like I should write about. I want to document this, so that I can come back to look at this and talk some sense into myself if/when that's needed in the future.
I confess that I am a girl who changes when she gets a boyfriend.
I have no idea why it happens, or when it started happening. But it does, and it did. Sometime in college, I started totally changing myself for guys. And it's not like they would ask me too.
It's like I would get so scared of losing them, that I would try to make myself into exactly what they were looking for.
And I would lose myself in that process.
Not only that, but I would turn into someone that I was not proud of.
And then BOOM, we would break up, and I'd go back to being me.
The real me. The happy me.
And I would wonder how I ever let myself change in the first place.
I thought I had it figured out after my college boyfriend. But then it happened again. I changed again. I lost myself again.
So now, I'm owning up to it. I'm admitting it, coming clean.
Because the person that I am today? I like her. Actually no, I love her.
She finally accepted how much she needs and loves Jesus. And she will never look to another man to feel complete again, because she already found Him.
She's a good friend, a good person.
And one day, she'll be a great girlfriend. A great wife.